rob yackley

first steps in spain

2011-12-14T17:56:00.000-08:00

There are a number of countries around the world that are often called "missionary graveyards" because--after decades of effort--there is so little to show for all the investment. Spain is one of those countries.

One of the reasons a place like Spain experiences such resistance is because the gap between the church and the culture is so perilously wide. They don't speak to each other or even speak each other's language. And when the gap is that great, the church must be willing to radically recreate itself in the image of Jesus and take Him to the streets or languish in her buildings.

In November I spent a week with a group of young leaders in Spain who are determined to be a redemptive presence in the southern port city of Malaga regardless of the personal cost. They've embedded themselves in schools and universities and moved into the heart of the city to be Jesus with skin on. I teamed up with two long-time colleagues--Deric Moen and Randy Gonzales--to take these young leaders through our Life Compass training to help focus their efforts and encourage their hearts. Here are just a few of the personal visions that were birthed or refined during our time together; visions which I believe will bring deep and durable transformation to Spain:

I will use my gifts of filmmaking to reveal the beauty and truth of God so the blind might see and the weary will experience the love of the Savior.
I will create a sports center where young athletes will be developed emotionally and spiritually as they are taught to follow Jesus.
I will help people discover the unseen exit door in order to be free and to help others experience more fully God’s total salvation: economically, socially, physically, and spiritually.

Helping people see what God sees for them is an essential first step. Creating a mentoring community that would equip them to live into their visions is an intriguing next step, and one we're excited to pursue.

a new day is blooming

2011-11-09T17:43:00.000-08:00

This past weekend our community had a sacred envisioning retreat down in Mexico. God graciously shielded and guided us through an exciting but also emotional time for our community. As with the human experience of giving birth, the birthing of a new community is filled with both joy and pain. Seeing a new life emerge is amazing, but there’s also the sobering reality that life will never be the same once it happens. That’s especially true when you’ve really loved your life the way it is and you’re about to birth not just 1, but 2, or in our case, maybe 3 or 4 new communities.  

Over the weekend we fought hard to lean into our future, to release one another to God, but also to tend to the hearts and relationships that God has lovingly knit together. We sensed we would need to be willing to transition from being a singular, self-contained community to becoming multiple communities that are uniquely different but somehow connected and mutually complementing, but we just weren’t sure what that should look like. But here's a picture of what I sense God is doing:

Imagine a sunflower. At the center of the flower is a dark orangish brown eye, and around that center are lots of beautiful yellow pedals. Each part of the flower has its own unique look, texture, and function, but it's only whole when each part is connected. That’s a great picture of what God is forming here in San Diego and perhaps how our communities will grow around the world. From what was once just a one-size-fits-all center, (our intensive apprenticeship), we are about to birth several missional communities all around us. Like pedals on a sunflower they will be more pourus and accessible to our neighbors and extend our reach into the city and even beyond it. Whereas the apprenticeship focuses on forming people for missional life, these missional communities will be focused more on living out that life in the neighborhoods they inhabit. And like the sunflower, the apprenticeship and the multiple missional communities that radiate out from it will remain intimately connected to one another and deeply rooted in the missio dei—the mission of God, which we are honored to participate in.

sacred wounds

2011-10-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

The English mystic Julian of Norwich wrote, "Our wounds become our honors." She didn't hide them. She didn't pretend her wounds would simply disappear. Nor did she allow them to debilitate or defeat her. She carried her wounds with dignity.

I recently had the privilege of having a gentle and wise pastor spend 3 hours examining my life and praying for me. Towards the end of our time together, he described the wounds that I've experienced in my life as "sacred wounds." Honestly, I didn't know what he meant by that, so he explained that a "sacred wound" is a wound that Jesus has entered into. It's a wound we can't pretend didn't happen or one that will magically disappear, but it is a wound that has been put in the hands of the Divine healer. It's a wound that can now be carried with dignity.

I think it's significant that the holes in Jesus' hands and feet remained intact in his resurrected body. Like it was in Jesus, Richard Rohr writes,

"I think we carry our wounds until the end; they do not fully go away but keep us humble, patient, and more open to trust. The healing lies in the fact that our wounds no longer defeat us or cause us to harm ourselves or others. Wounds become our daily offering to God, and they develop in us compassion toward the weakness of others."

May our wounds--our sacred wounds--become our honor.

miracle on 22nd street

2011-08-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

Ever since we sold our house in Orange County, we've been trying to buy a home in our neighborhood, including the house we've been iiving in. But we just haven't been able to close the right deal. But then--right in the middle of another purchase attempt and seemingly out of nowhere--we were offered an amazing opportunity to rent a beautiful old 4-bedroom Victorian house just a few blocks from where we live now.

We'll have 2 bedrooms we'll use and 2 bedrooms we can use as guest rooms. It's got a huge kitchen for community meals, it wlll make a great new hub for our ministry, and it will actually be an even better house than the one we're in now for hosting guests and assimilating new apprentices...and at less than half the rent of our current house!

There are 2 catches: 1) we have to move out of the house for two weeks each summer so the owners can come back and use it as their vacation home; and 2) we will manage the two 1-bedroom units next to it. But as much as we travel, getting out of the house a couple weeks a year shouldn't be a big deal, and managing the rental units actually gives us first crack at two nice apartments that our staff and/or apprentices might need, so that is actually a plus.

And this is pretty amazing too: after we met and told our prospective new landlords who we are and what we do, they checked out our website and they saw their house featured front and center on our San Diego site page. That picture was actually taken 3 years ago before we even moved to San Diego, and I actually forgot it was even there. But now here we are 3 years later about to move into this very same house (pictured here)!

We'll be moving in on Labor Day weekend and our guest rooms will be ready to roll soon after, so come down and see us soon!

desires

2011-07-23T12:26:00.000-07:00

The longer I work with people, the more I'm inclined to believe that we are driven by our desires. We'd like to think it's our theology or our personal mission statement that animates our lives, but in the real time moments of every day life it's what we want that really affects what we do and the choices we make. And what we want—what we desire most—is shaped by the things we give ourselves to.

For those who follow Jesus, he tells us in his parables that there is really only one thing in this world worth pursuing at any cost—one thing that changes everything else—and he calls that one thing "the kingdom of God." That’s what Jesus wants us to want. That’s what Jesus wants us to give ourselves to. But what is it?

Dallas Willard describes the kingdom of God as the place where life is experienced as God intended it to be experienced. It’s the realm where what God wants to happen, happens. It’s life as it was meant to be lived in all its fullness and wonder.

We recently asked our community to personalize the kingdom and describe--in their own words--the life God invites us into. Here is some of what we wrote:

“You are invited to…

• show the world my goodness and extend my forgiveness.”
• step into your destiny and participate in the greatest story ever told.”
• be at home with me and invite others to come home.”
• feast with me at my table and rest in my courtyard.”
• leave the world of darkness and confusion and enter the light of God
which brings peace and clarity.”

That's what Jesus challenges his followers to pursue, and that’s what he invites us to extend to the world around us.

In our neighborhood, the kingdom of God is experienced and extended when the owner of a new bistro chooses to donate the profits from all his sales on Sunday to local development initiatives; when we gather leaders from other faith communities to join us in worship and prayer for our city; when we walk and talk with our neighbors who are recovering from addictions of all kinds; when a shop owner in our community helps feed families in Tijuana by selling their artwork in her store; when we share our homes and choose to live on less; and when we send those we have come to know and love to go and extend the kingdom of God in other neighborhoods, cities, and countries.

Like leaven in bread, these small kingdom acts find their way into our lives and begin to change who we are…and what we most desire.

leading in the future

2011-05-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

I think Bob Buford of Leadership Network accurately and succinctly describes what leading younger leaders and organizations will look like as we go forward:

• From hierarchies to networks
• From institutional learning to learning from best practices
• From good intentions to results and performance
• From tell 'em what to do to support their aspirations
• From catch & keep to catch & release

That kinda gets me excited!

soft sacrifices

2011-05-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

There is a significant move under way for people to be increasingly present in their neighborhoods, and I think that's really good. When we are present, when we holistically inhabit a neighborhood, we begin to truly know our neighborhood--and our neighbors--and we become known. And when we know and are known, we've got a much better shot at actually helping to bring life as it was meant to be lived back to our neighborhoods.

But there's a cost to presence; a cost that sometimes causes us to compromise our commitment to truly inhabit a neighborhood. For me in my neighborhood, the cost of presence means I get a good cup of coffee around the corner instead of a great cup of coffee two neighborhoods over. It means I get an okay haircut down the street instead of a really nice haircut by the stylist across town. It means I pay a little more for a sandwich or a pizza instead of regularly driving out of the neighborhood to grab cheaper, more diverse food. It means I buy more groceries at the local store and farmers market and a little less at the big box store down the road. It means I pay a little more to the guy selling flowers down at the corner stand than ordering them online.

All those things cost something, but they are all an investment in my neighborhood. When I think of it that way--that it's an investment in my neighborhood and a down payment on life as it was meant to be lived, it motivates me to make those small sacrifices to be more present and inhabit my neighborhood.

unusual words

2011-03-30T23:51:00.000-07:00

In parts of the world today there is a quiet but expanding movement--often referred to as the "insider movement"--of Muslims who are becoming followers of Jesus but who choose to remain Muslim. No doubt it's a tricky path to walk and there are certainly people who simply don't think it's even possible, or that it's inherently contradictory to be a Muslim follower of Jesus. But still it's happening; there are a growing number of people all over the world who are finding ways of following Jesus with their whole heart without shedding all of their religious and culture heritage. It's a fascinating and beautiful thing to watch...something we've been privileged to watch up close and personal over the last few months.

A young Iranian doctor has been part of our community since last summer as he completes a fellowship at a local medical university. He has had several moving, personal experiences with Jesus through prayer and worship that have gripped his heart. It's almost like Jesus has sought him out even more than he has sought out Jesus. And now he simply can't shake him; nor does he want to.

The other day he told one of my teammates, a teammate who has been intentionally discipling him in the ways of Jesus, that he feels very safe at our house and that he feels the presence of God here. He went on to say that this is a holy place and that when he is here, it feels like he is walking into a Mosque.

I know to many ears that might sound strange. But to ours, it has a sweet sound. It sounds like God may be close.

navigating tijuana

2011-03-26T22:35:00.001-07:00

We've been privileged to take leaders from all over the world through a life-focusing, calling-clairifying process we call Life Compass. Ironically though we've never taken it just across the border to our neighbors in Mexico...until now. Over two back-to-back weekends last month we guided a group of leaders from all over Tijuana through this intense, destiny-discovery process. It was challenging, exhausting...and beautiful.

The first time you take an idea or a resource into another culture, it's always an adventure...and a lot of work. Every concept, word, and expression needs to be looked at through the lens of the new culture; through its behaviors, its values, its beliefs, and ultimately through its worldview. So in the weeks leading up to the workshop, Maria (a teammate of ours who was born and raised in Tijuana) and I labored over the translation of the Life Compass workbook. Okay, it might be more accurate to say that Maria labored over the translation. :-) What we labored over were the ideas, concepts, metaphors, and examples that filled the 25-page workbook and at least twice that many pages of teaching notes. We wrestled with questions like: How do you create an environment of personal discovery when "doing what my pastor says" is often all they have been asked to do? How do you help people dream when they haven't been invited to dream before? Or how in the world do you get through a time-sensitive, time-intensive schedule in a culture that views time pretty differently than we do!?

Well, by God's grace, (and Maria's incredible skills), it all came together and it worked powerfully. Maria and I did most of the teaching while Laurie and Shaun--Maria's husband--loved on the group, served them, and helped coach them through lots of new and challenging concepts. It was a team effort that left a deep impact on all our lives, and the fruit of that effort will soon be spreading throughout the region. Let me tell you about Oscar (pictured here) as an example:

Oscar served as our host for the Life Compass training and he's a powerful leader in Mexico. For many years he was the YMCA Director overseeing all of Latin America. Before we started, he pulled us aside and said, "I hope this isn't going to be one of those "change your life in 2 hours" kind of workshops...we don't really need more of those here." Oscar put us on notice...don't play with us and don't blow this. Fair enough. As we dove into the training I could feel Oscar testing our assumptions and pushing back on some of the concepts, but always in a good-natured, playful, albeit watchful way. But I also sensed he was enjoying it.

In the last hour of the last day, as we were wrapping up the workshop, Oscar took the floor and said to the whole group, "I need to say something." I immediately thought, oh boy, this could be really good or this could really go sideways! Oscar continued, "I'm 60 years old and I have travelled all over the world. I've been to hundreds of workshops, listened to countless sermons, and have sat on many boards. Honestly, I didn't think you guys would have anything new for me to learn. I was hoping it would be good for the rest of the group, but I didn't think I would get much out of this." After a pregnant pause, he continued. "Well, I was wrong. You guys surprised me. I discovered things these last two weeks about myself that I never knew. I've never looked at my life as a whole story before, as a puzzle that has lots of pieces that God has designed and desires to put together to form a beautiful picture. But now I see it, I like what I see, and it makes me want to spend the last days of my life doing only the things God has made me to do." He then asked, "If you guys do this again in Mexico, can I be part of it? I feel like there's more I'd like to learn and I would be interested in helping to teach part of it...would that be possible? This has been a powerful experience and I would like to help others experience it too."

Yeah, we'll be doing it again, and it would be an honor to have Oscar in the mix.

grace over karma : an interview with bono

2011-02-28T13:40:00.000-08:00

Bono is a man and therefore imperfect. But he gets it more than most.

An excerpt from the book Bono: In Conversation with Michka Assayas

Bono: My understanding of the Scriptures has been made simple by the person of Christ. Christ teaches that God is love. What does that mean? What it means for me: a study of the life of Christ. Love here describes itself as a child born in straw poverty, the most vulnerable situation of all, without honor. I don't let my religious world get too complicated. I just kind of go: Well, I think I know what God is. God is love, and as much as I respond [sighs] in allowing myself to be transformed by that love and acting in that love, that's my religion. Where things get complicated for me, is when I try to live this love. Now that's not so easy.

Assayas: What about the God of the Old Testament? He wasn't so "peace and love"?

Bono: There's nothing hippie about my picture of Christ. The Gospels paint a picture of a very demanding, sometimes divisive love, but love it is. I accept the Old Testament as more of an action movie: blood, car chases, evacuations, a lot of special effects, seas dividing, mass murder, adultery. The children of God are running amok, wayward. Maybe that's why they're so relatable. But the way we would see it, those of us who are trying to figure out our Christian conundrum, is that the God of the Old Testament is like the journey from stern father to friend. When you're a child, you need clear directions and some strict rules. But with Christ, we have access in a one-to-one relationship, for, as in the Old Testament, it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The New Testament, on the other hand, we look across at a Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal. The combination is what makes the Cross.

Assayas: Speaking of bloody action movies, we were talking about South and Central America last time. The Jesuit priests arrived there with the gospel in one hand and a rifle in the other.

Bono: I know, I know. Religion can be the enemy of God. It's often what happens when God, like Elvis, has left the building. [laughs] A list of instructions where there was once conviction; dogma where once people just did it; a congregation led by a man where once they were led by the Holy Spirit. Discipline replacing discipleship. Why are you chuckling?

Assayas: I was wondering if you said all of that to the Pope the day you met him.

Bono: Let's not get too hard on the Holy Roman Church here. The Church has its problems, but the older I get, the more comfort I find there. The physical experience of being in a crowd of largely humble people, heads bowed, murmuring prayers, stories told in stained-glass windows

Assayas: So you won't be critical.

Bono: No, I can be critical, especially on the topic of contraception. But when I meet someone like Sister Benedicta and see her work with AIDS orphans in Addis Ababa, or Sister Ann doing the same in Malawi, or Father Jack Fenukan and his group Concern all over Africa, when I meet priests and nuns tending to the sick and the poor and giving up much easier lives to do so, I surrender a little easier.

Assayas: But you met the man himself. Was it a great experience?

Bono: [W]e all knew why we were there. The Pontiff was about to make an important statement about the inhumanity and injustice of poor countries spending so much of their national income paying back old loans to rich countries. Serious business. He was fighting hard against his Parkinson's. It was clearly an act of will for him to be there. I was oddly moved by his humility, and then by the incredible speech he made, even if it was in whispers. During the preamble, he seemed to be staring at me. I wondered. Was it the fact that I was wearing my blue fly-shades? So I took them off in case I was causing some offense. When I was introduced to him, he was still staring at them. He kept looking at them in my hand, so I offered them to him as a gift in return for the rosary he had just given me.

Assayas: Didn't he put them on?

Bono: Not only did he put them on, he smiled the wickedest grin you could ever imagine. He was a comedian. His sense of humor was completely intact. Flashbulbs popped, and I thought: "Wow! The Drop the Debt campaign will have the Pope in my glasses on the front page of every newspaper."

Assayas: I don't remember seeing that photograph anywhere, though.

Bono: Nor did we. It seems his courtiers did not have the same sense of humor. Fair enough. I guess they could see the T-shirts.

Later in the conversation:
Assayas: I think I am beginning to understand religion because I have started acting and thinking like a father. What do you make of that?

Bono: Yes, I think that's normal. It's a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.

Assayas: I haven't heard you talk about that.

Bono: I really believe we've moved out of the realm of Karma into one of Grace.

Assayas: Well, that doesn't make it clearer for me.

Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics; in physical laws every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Assayas: I'd be interested to hear that.

Bono: That's between me and God. But I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep s---. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity.

Assayas: The Son of God who takes away the sins of the world. I wish I could believe in that.

Bono: But I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there's a mortality as part of your very sinful nature, and, let's face it, you're not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions. The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That's the point. It should keep us humbled . It's not our own good works that get us through the gates of heaven.

Assayas: That's a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it's close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world's great thinkers. But Son of God, isn't that farfetched?

Bono: No, it's not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn't allow you that. He doesn't let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I'm not saying I'm a teacher, don't call me teacher. I'm not saying I'm a prophet. I'm saying: "I'm the Messiah." I'm saying: "I am God incarnate." And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You're a bit eccentric. We've had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don't mention the "M" word! Because, you know, we're gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you're expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he's gonna keep saying this. So what you're left with is: either Christ was who He said He was the Messiah or a complete nutcase. I mean, we're talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we've been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had "King of the Jews" on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I'm not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that's farfetched

Bono later says it all comes down to how we regard Jesus:

Bono: If only we could be a bit more like Him, the world would be transformed. When I look at the Cross of Christ, what I see up there is all my s--- and everybody else's. So I ask myself a question a lot of people have asked: Who is this man? And was He who He said He was, or was He just a religious nut? And there it is, and that's the question. And no one can talk you into it or out of it.

reclaiming ground

2011-02-09T08:59:00.000-08:00

Over the last few months there has been a significant spike in violence in our neighborhood. These shootings and stabbings, coupled with a noticeable rise in tagging by gangs and other emerging groups who want to leave their mark, has caught our attention.

The world of tagging is new to me, but as I walk through our neighborhood and see the distinguishing marks on bus stops, street corners, and on the garage doors in our alleys, I get the sense that our neighborhood is in the midst of being rebranded. Tagging feels like a way to claim ground; to stake it out; to take it over--or to take it back; to brand it as yours. And it feels like there are a handful of groups who are now competing for our neighborhood.

But we actually think this neighborhood is God's neighborhood, and if it is going to have a brand, we hope it bears the mark of God's love. So this morning a handful of people from our community walked the streets of our neighborhood. We stood at the corner of 2 recent murders, and through prayer we reclaimed our neighborhood for God. We asked God to make our neighborhood a place of peace; a place of divine encounter; a place where people would collaborate for goodness rather than fight for control.

May this neighborhood be branded as holy ground.

sending +

2011-01-31T17:43:00.000-08:00

We're a sending community, so it's normal for us to develop people and then let 'em go to make their mark on the world. That's what we do. But something a little different has been happening the last few months and it's pretty cool.

Last night Colin--one of the guys in our community--invited a couple of his friends to join us for our common meal and worship time. We get lots of guests on Sunday nights so that wasn't unusual. Nor was it unusual that his friends were on their way to Malawi for the next couple of years. Okay, not all our guests are on their way to Africa, but it does seem like more and more of the people who visit our community are wrapping up one chapter of their lives and are in-route somewhere.

Now here's the cool part. We get to bless them and send them even when we've just met them. It's not planned or choreographed. We just do it. It's who we are. And we seem to be doing a lot of it lately. Last night we prayed for Ryan and Michelle and sent them off to Africa with God's blessing. Last month we sent Danny off to London. It's almost like God is using our little community to be part of the sending process with people who have not even travelled with us. And if it helps them thrive and be good news wherever they are going, we'll gladly keep on doing it.

our covenant

2011-01-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

This weekend we're taking off to Rosarito Beach on the Baja for our annual covenanting retreat. It's a time for each person in our community to recommit to the shared life that defines us and guides us. It's big. It's hard. It's radical. And it's not for everyone. But it also inspires us to live all-in missional lives:

THE NIEUCOMMUNITIES COMMON COVENANT
Communion
We believe that we were created to be worshippers and lovers of God.

As such, we will make the Triune God the center of our lives by collectively and individually committing to live as disciples of Christ.

This includes cultivating an attitude of thankfulness, a lifestyle of prayer and worship, a deep and responsive engagement with scripture, a reliance on the provision and guidance of the Holy Spirit, exploring and practicing a diversity of spiritual disciplines, discovering God’s goodness and beauty in his created world, and the intentional participation in the gift of Sabbath.

Community
We believe that the Gospel is best experienced and expressed within a community of believers.

Because of this, we will open our lives to be shaped by the community in which God has placed us.

Our journey together will include living in the same neighborhood, opening our lives and homes as places of invitation and hospitality, gathering at least once a week over a common meal, caring for and submitting to one another, speaking well of one another and defending each other’s name, sharing stories and reflecting on God’s work of love in our midst, living more simply and sharing our resources with those in need, and gathering together weekly to grow and learn.

Context
We believe that God calls all followers of Christ to live a life of mission.

In obedience to this, we will seek to incarnate the good news of the kingdom and to become a reconciling and redemptive presence.

This life of mission will include “submerging” in our own unique neighborhood, living as the light of God’s grace in places of darkness, inviting neighbors and friends to experience a different kind of faith community, becoming true caretakers of God’s creation, creating spaces and moments for our neighbors to experience both community and communion with God, discipling our neighbors into deeper relationship with Jesus, mentoring local leaders to grow in influence, joining with strategic partners within our city to advance the kingdom, and apprenticing young leaders to live out all of these things with us and wherever God sends them.

another reason to be here

2011-01-15T09:29:00.000-08:00

In the past week 2 men have been murdered in our neighborhood and another man was stabbed 9 times last night and survived. Both of these horrific incidents happened within a few hundred yards of our house. We hear the sirens. We watch the police cruisers shoot by.

Our culture's natural impulse at the news of events like these is to play it safe and distance yourself from evil. But Christ's impulse was to step into the face of evil and enflesh shalom...a deep and abiding sense of peace.

Our prayer--our community's prayer--is to have sufficient courage to be peacemakers in the midst of needless violence rather than retreating from it. To enflesh shalom in a neighborhood that truly needs it right now.

fruits of justice

2010-12-31T10:58:00.000-08:00

When we step up and join the struggle for justice in our world we help bring life and hope to those who have been victimized for far too long. That alone is worth the sacrifice…and the risk. But Gary Haugen, President of the International Justice Mission, unpacks a few other fruits that are born in the fight for justice in his inspiring little book Just Courage:

First, we help bring about an equilibrium in power that helps make justice sustainable. Bullies oppress people not because they are courageous, but because the powerless are vulnerable. When we stand with the powerless and empower them to exercise their voice and battle for justice, aggressors back down.

Second, we are changed. Haugen writes, “ Give me a Christian who has walked with Jesus in the struggle against aggressive, violent injustice, and I will show you a Christian who has been changed by the journey.” Far too many church-going people are near comatose with trivial pursuits and boring routines. We need to take risks. We need to stand up against people and systems that probably scare us for the sake of the victims and, as it turns out, for our own sake.

Years ago, in our relentless pursuit of safety, the cul-de-sac was inserted into the suburban landscape to address our anxieties about the danger that traffic presents to our children. The thought was that the cul-de-sac would both slow and reduce traffic and our kids would be safer. Ironically, we have since discovered that the cul-de-sac is far more dangerous to our children than through traffic because cars backing up injure far more children than cars moving forward. By trying to protect our kids we actually put them at much greater risk. We make that mistake in lots of ways with our kids and with ourselves as well. Haugen notes that as we have sought safety from a “dangerous world and threatening culture” we have “turned inward to the prosperous cul-de-sac, only to find spiritual atrophy, mediocrity, and boredom that is lethal to the soul.” We are created to fight for what is good, not to run from what is bad. God’s call to “seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, and plead for the widow” is a divine antidote to our trivial pursuits. It is a pathway to personal transformation and courage.

And finally, the engagement of injustice adds integrity to our faith and makes following Jesus more compelling. Over the centuries the validity of the life Jesus offers has been expressed differently in different eras. In some eras it was most effectively expressed through acts of compassion; sometimes through non-violent resistance, and sometimes through proclamation. But today, the truth of what we say we believe might best be seen through acts of justice.

But just what is injustice? Scripture defines injustice as the abuse of power by taking away the good things God intended all people to have—namely their life, freedom, dignity, and the just fruit of their labor and love. So when a stronger person takes away what rightfully belongs to all people, the sin of injustice has occurred.

Where is dignity being taken from someone you know? Where are people working for wages that won’t be enough to feed their children? Where are the powerless being taken advantage of by landlords, governments, or employers? Probably not as far away as you might think. As we have befriended the powerless we have found the fight is often right nextdoor.

solid food

2010-12-23T09:37:00.000-08:00

Among a sea of hopes for the new year, I pray especially for an increased appetite for the Holy Scriptures. As I was reading Paul's letter to Timothy this morning I was reminded again how vital it is to take in Gods' written Word deeply and often. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us that the Scriptures:

• Teach us what is true
• Expose what is wrong in our lives
• Coach us to do right
• Prepare us to do every good work

Wow. So if I'm not regularly feeding my soul with God's Word, how will I know what's really true? How will I really know what's right and what's wrong in my life? How will I make course corrections? How will I be able to do what is truly good?

Honestly, I can easily think of lots of other viable options to help me address these questions because I go to them so often. But this year I want to turn to the irreplaceable Scriptures first and let all the other good resources take their complementary place.

vision

2010-11-18T12:02:00.000-08:00

Over the past 2 weeks I've been teaching on the role of vision in our lives. Simply stated, vision--from my perspective--is a picture of the life God has created me to live. It's not so much a picture of my preferable future as it is my best understanding of God's preferable future for me. It naturally changes over time as it comes into sharper focus, but it always inspires and moves us. Here's my best understanding of the life and the work I believe God dreams of for me:

As I experience the shifting tides of culture and see a new kind of church emerging wherever I go, I’m compelled to co-create working harbors that provide...

Time for people to linger with God and to be shaped in the crucible of community;

Space for people to explore, experience, and extend the missional life they are meant to live; and a

Place for people to gather the essential gear they will need to live that life well on whatever seas they are called to navigate.

The attached picture of the boats in the harbor is another way for me to visualize my vision. They're not just boats, they're working boats...fishing boats. Some are bigger and some are smaller. Each of them is unique. Some will go farther out to sea and others just beyond the harbor. But all of them have a job to do.

What do you imagine when you think of the life God created you to live?

girls (written by laurie)

2010-09-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

Over the last two weeks I've had the opportunity to spend time with a woman in Tijuana, who's a wife and mom of 3. Over lunch one day, she talked about a ministry she's involved in that gives food and a bath to the poorest of poor in Tijuana, in addition to trying to get them uniforms so that they can attend school. She has a heart for the girls but the ministry she works with tends to prioritize the boys. As she shared her struggle and frustration, I thought about the book my family and I have been reading this summer, Three Cups of Tea.

It's the story of Greg Mortenson, a mountain-climber who came face to face with poverty in the rugged mountains of Pakistan and began building schools for children--but especially schools for girls. When asked why he focused on educating girls, Mortenson says: "Once you educate the boys, they tend to leave the villages and go search for work in the cities," Mortenson explains, "But the girls stay home, become leaders in the community, and pass on what they've learned. If you really want to change a culture, to empower women, improve basic hygiene and health care and fight high rates of infant mortality, the answer is to educate girls...If the girls can just get to a fifth grade level, everything changes."

This has caused me to think about the Nepalese refugee families here in San Diego that we work with as they struggle to figure out life here in the US. We primarily work on their English but this gives rise to many other significant challenges. Things like how to deal with children whose behavior is out of control. Or what to do with a teenage daughter who is depressed. Or how a mother can stay healthy and keep her milk supply up while her newborn son is in the hospital.

And then there's the recovery home in our neighborhood where women of different ages fight to stay sober and change destructive patterns of behavior in their lives. Or the old homeless woman who lived in the alley behind our house for a few months, tenaciously fighting for what she needed each day. And I think of my sister and brother-in-law who have lovingly raised and continue to care for their 35 year old daughter who has Down's Syndrome.

I'm sure as you read this, you can think of girls and women in your life who have needs, some of them very great needs. Why not take a moment to pray for them and even ask God how you can be a part of changing the lives of girls nearby as well as girls far, far away? Sometimes our world is changed one girl at a time.

a kingdom investment in real estate

2010-09-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

Twelve months ago we moved two streets over into an old Victorian house in our neighborhood that has quickly become our home, the home to another family in our community, and the home-away-from-home to many other friends and family from around the world. This big historic house is more than just a home though; it's the hub for our missional community; it's the site of countless times of leadership training and coaching; it's a house of worship and prayer; and it's a lighthouse in our
neighborhood.

It's also up for sale. Our landlord recently told us that he needs to sell the house and that he would really like to sell it to us so that we can continue to use it to advance the Kingdom. Well, we'd like to buy it. We've seen God bless this home and those that pass through it and we just don't feel like God is done with it yet! But if God wants us to keep this home, we'll need help. If you're potentially interested in investing in a property like this, read further. If not, could you simply stop and pray that God would provide all the resources we would need to keep and use this property for God's purposes? Thanks!

Property details

The property is a 5-bedroom, 3-bathroom house on a huge lot with an unfinished granny cottage in the backyard. The main house is approximately 2300 sq.ft. and the cottage is another 400 sq.ft. With 20% down, the rental income on the house would more than cover the PITI payments and leave sufficient reserves for maintenance, improvements, and potential cash flow to the investors. The house may also qualify for historic property status and that would reduce the property tax rate by
approximately 90%.

We are personally ready and willing to invest in the property but we would need a small handful of kingdom-minded partners to
invest with us as equity share partners. If this is something you might be interested in considering, can I just ask you to do 2 things? First, click on the link below to watch a short little video that was taken in our house a few months ago and ask God if He might want you to invest in this house and the ministry that flows from it. And second, if you feel God nudging you, (or you're at least interested in getting more information to explore it further), let me know and let's talk. Thank you!

A Day in the Life of NieuCommunities

why i'm part of a learning community

2010-03-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

Here's one more reason why I love being part of a learning community:

"In times of change, the learners will inherit the earth, while the knowers will find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." - Eric Hoffer

in defense of "missional"

2010-02-18T11:52:00.001-08:00

The word "missional" is one of those words that came on by storm a few years ago and is already losing its cachet. It's been widely misunderstood and generally misused, and now some are calling for it to be jettisoned from our vocabulary all together. I was tempted to jump on the bandwagon until I read Christopher Wright's examination of the word in the introduction of his notable book, The Mission of God. Wright makes a strong case for the importance and use of the word missional especially in light of what words like mission and missionary have come to mean in people's minds today.

I agree with Wright's assessment that the word mission now refers to all kinds of human endeavors, eternal or not. Lots of people, businesses, and churches have personal and corporate mission's statements that attempt to describe the unique task they've set out to accomplish. That kind of focus can certainly be helpful, but in our attempts to distinguish ourselves from others we inevitably end up using mission in a narrower, more individualized, customized sense. Mission is what we do and how we do it. Hopefully our unique missions are connected to the mission of God, but they're rarely assumed to be synonymous with the mission of God.

Missionary has become an even more limiting word. Missionaries are seen as unusual people who are called to carry-out the task of mission usually in some far away place. Not many people can identify with the calling of the missionary and even fewer would want to be one.

It's against this backdrop that the word missional entered our conversation. It's not a verb that refers to a customized task, (our mission), or a noun that refers to a unique kind of person doing a unique kind of work (i.e. a missionary). It's a powerful adjective that denotes that whatever comes after it is related to or characterized by the mission of God to redeem and reconcile all of creation. A missional life then is a life that is actively experiencing and extending God's redemption and reconciliation. And a community is only missional if it is collectively experiencing and extending the redemptive and reconciling mission of God.

As an adjective, missional redefines everything that follows it and gives it new meaning and identity. It reminds us of who we are, who we're related to, and the ultimate mission we have all been invited to participate in. And that makes it worth keeping.

food, inc.

2010-02-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

Of all the illuminating, convicting, and disturbing things I heard and saw in the movie Food, Inc., I think the words of a small farmer from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia named Joel Salatin will stick with me the most: "A culture that just views a pig as a pile of protoplasmic inanimate structure to be manipulated by whatever creative design a human a can foist on that critter, will probably view individuals within its community and other cultures in the community of nations, with the same kind of distain and disrespect and controlling type mentality."

If you haven't seen this film yet, you need to. But be warned: it begs a change in choices that won't be easy.

nueva generacion

2010-01-31T07:25:00.000-08:00

We spent the afternoon yesterday at Nueva Generacion, a boys home in Tijuana led by Luis Salinas, his wife Aida, and family. It was an amazing day, playing futbol with the boys, eating pizza, and learning more about life and ministry in Tijuana. While many Americans avoid Tijuana, we've been blessed by staying the course. See God's children here.

shared leadership

2010-01-13T22:10:00.001-08:00

Here's another great reason why we've created NieuCommunities to be an all-play community:

"Jesus exercises the only kind of leadership that can evoke authentic community--a leadership that risks failure (the crucifixion) by making space for others to act. When a leader takes up all the space and preempts all the action, he or she may make something happen, but that something is not community."

"When a leader is willing to trust the abundance that people can generate together, willing to take risk of inviting people to share from that abundance, then and only then may true community emerge."

- Parker Palmer

love like crazy

2010-01-13T09:01:00.001-08:00

Be your best friend
Tell the truth
Over-use "I love you"
Go to work
Do your best
And don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your praying knees grow lazy
And love like crazy.....

-Lee Brice

may the force be with you

2009-08-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

On May 27, 1977 the movie Star Wars was released and a new expression rushed into our lexicon and seemed to work its way into almost every conversation: "May the Force be with you." Though it sounds a little kitsch now, there's actually something profoundly biblical about that expression that actually helps me understand the gospels better.

When John begins his gospel with, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God...and the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us," he's not saying that the Bible became flesh; he's actually saying something closer to The Force became flesh and dwelt among us.

When John wrote his gospel around 90 A.D. the dominate culture--Greek-speaking Helenistic people--believed that there was a mysterious, other-worldly, bigger-than-life divine force that was behind all their lesser gods and that held the universe together. They called that unknown entity, or unifying principle, the Logos, the Force.

So when John writes that the Logos became flesh, he's telling his Helenistic audience that the unknown Force that they've always acknowledged is out there and is ultimate, the Force that's behind everything, that Force has appeared in flesh and blood and it has a name: Jesus. This intangible thing you've always called the Force is called Jesus. He is the Force, the Force is God, and the Force has come to live among us. That would have rocked their worldview and their lives. And it should rock ours too.

May the Force be with you.

laurie and her nepalese friends

2009-07-29T18:13:00.000-07:00

Last week I (Laurie) had the opportunity to spend a week in Phoenix with an amazing group of teens, (who we called the “Dream Team”), their amazing leaders, Shaun and Maria and a large group of Nepalese refugees. Over a hundred Nepalese refugees from Bhutan have been attending a church in Phoenix, (that Shaun is connected to), and trying hard to carve out a life in this country. They don’t understand much English, almost every one of them is Hindu, but they keep coming back week after week. It’s clearly something God is doing!

So a couple of months ago, the Sheahans asked me if I would be interested in going along with them and a small team of teens and leading the ESL teaching times. It felt like a big assignment (it had been awhile since I taught ESL), but I was immediately excited about it at the same time.

Part of our preparation ahead of time was to invite 3 Nepalese families we’ve gotten to know here in San Diego over for dinner at our house. Rob and I have spent the past several months teaching these families English and helping them adjust to life here in the US. So 25 of us—Americans and Nepalese refugees—gathered at our house and had a great time together eating, talking and playing. Two of the Nepalese moms said that the evening reminded them of the “once a year dinner our mothers used to make for us.” And it gave the teens a glimpse of the week to come.

Once in Phoenix, we started our week together meeting a group of Nepalese girls preparing a dance for a special fair they would be performing the following weekend. They are really beautiful children and I even found myself crying at one point, watching them dance and thinking of all the hardship they’ve had to endure living for years in a refugee camp. A life I can’t imagine. And then I was overwhelmed the next day with seeing all of them at church--so thankful for what God is doing and this journey he has them on. It also made me wonder what things he may have in store for our Nepalese friends in San Diego.

On Monday the camp officially started, with an ESL class for the adults in the morning, followed by one for the children, and then a class for the youth in the afternoon, totaling 150 for the week! Every day the teens played and sang songs, which they all loved and participated in. It was such a funny sight all of us jumping around, shouting and singing! Then Maria taught a story from the Bible and I taught English and we all divided up and practiced English at their tables. We played a lot of games, which the Nepalese teens especially loved. One afternoon we had a birthday party for all of them and even played Pin the Tail on the Donkey, which quickly turned into “Extreme Pin the Tail on the Donkey!” I’ve decided that one of my favorite things from our week together was seeing the Nepalese laugh and have so much fun.

Our prayer all week was that we could be a bridge, helping the church members to reach out and get to know the refugees better and also that the way we loved the Nepalese would help them to see Jesus and be compelled to want to know him more. By the end of the week we saw more people from that church become interested and make friends with the refugees and we continue to pray and trust that our new Nepalese friends experienced Jesus through us.

brittney's mokkatam poem

2009-07-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

Our youngest daughter Brittney just wrote a poem from the garbage city of Mokkatam in Egypt, which we want to share:

This place is dirty, rank, filthy.
I think mostly now about the flies.
They love the putrid smell,
The decomposition, the heat.
They rise, circle, swarm.
I think of this village, of these people:

Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world To be rich in faith?
Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the kingdom
He promised to those who love Him?

And I think you and the flies
Have similar ideas about
What makes perfect living conditions.
The babies’ faces are crawling with flies –
In the doorway of Om Ibrahim’s one-room
Hovel they pass freely.
They dance in the stairwell of the school.
Flies love stench, decay, neglect.

The flies love poverty, it’s where they thrive.
Where the flies go, so too do you.
The poor are your chosen people
Your Israel, your Covenant.
Among the poor you move, you abide, you alight.
Your spirit surrounds your people
Like a swarm.

Brittney will be in Egypt for one more week. Please join us in praying that she would finish her time there well and that there would be both fruit that lasts and seeds that spreads.

frank viola on organic church

2009-05-27T14:52:00.001-07:00

If you want to hear a provocative take on a Trinitarian expression of church, carve out 30 minutes and click here to listen to Frank Viola bring it in his always passionate way.

simple fix for our economy

2009-05-18T10:02:00.001-07:00

Sometimes we make things too complicated. Last Sunday the St. Petersburg Times asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this guy nailed it:

Dear Mr. President,

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that! If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents actually pay their taxes.

To the writer's simple suggestions I would add a 4th requirement:

4) They MUST give $100,000 to the charity of their choice - Hearts fixed.

utopia

2009-05-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

For most generations utopia was a concept so far beyond their reach it wasn't worth a second thought. Not today. Today we're going for it. Almost every week I sit down with someone who is looking for the perfect job, the perfect role, the perfect community, the perfect church, the perfect mission, the perfect fit. Utopia--that ideal, perfect place--seems to be well within our reach and worth looking for no matter how long it takes.

Except it isn't. Utopia is actually the Greek word for no place, and it turns out that no place seems to be where most people end up during that long look for the perfect place.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not an advocate for settling. I believe we should take time to imagine the kind of place we really want to live in and serve out of and reach for it. It's just that that place usually needs to created through lots of grit and perseverance rather than simply found.

you're dead to me

2009-04-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

Romans 6 is tough stuff. This morning I was trying to wrap my mind around Paul's words, "We have died to sin" (6:2) and "Consider yourselves dead to sin" (6:11). Those are tough teachings to grasp because quite honestly I don't feel like I've died to sin. In my experience sin feels very much alive and sneaking around in my life.

It's true that Paul doesn't say "sin is dead." It's clearly not. What he does say is that those who follow Jesus are "dead to sin." But what does that mean in real life when sin is still lurking around? As I was thinking about that this morning the infamous line attributed to The Godfather II, "You're dead to me", came to mind. When Michael Corleone told Fredo, "You're nothing to me now; you're not a brother, you're not a friend; I don't want to know you or what you do", he was telling his brother that he was dead to him. Fredo hadn't died (not yet anyway), but he was certainly dead to Michael. He had no place in his home. He didn't want to see him or hear his voice. He had no role in his or his family's life any longer. Fredo was dead to him.

I think that's a pretty good picture of what Paul is saying our relationship to sin should look like. We should treat it as if it is dead to us. It has no place in our homes or in our hearts. We don't want to look at it or know it or hear it or even know what it does. It has no role in our lives.

Sin is dead to us.

the church in 25 years

2009-04-09T07:52:00.000-07:00

Here's one guy's take on what the church will look like in 25 years. Personally, I think it will look like a lot of different things, but I do think C. Wess Daniels does a nice job of articulating the direction she is heading. (The words in bold are ones that particularly intrigue me):

My (Wess Daniels) sense about the future is that the church, whatever is left of it in 25 years, will be built around a kind of nebulous, decentralized participation in God’s mission. I imagine there will be a lot less full-time CEO pastors and more people who see themselves as co-cultivators of kingdom imaginations. People who band together in a world where there is little money, time or space for full-time ministry to embody this call.

At the heart of what we might call “mission communities” won’t be buildings, and budgets but high amounts of inter-connectivity, utilizing and disseminating the church’s wisdom and critique through whatever devices and networks are available. Being tied-down to physical space will be seen less as an asset and more as a disadvantage. I think these people will use whatever space is available to them, and while being committed to particular (local) areas, they won’t be fixed to one location.

Building on this sense of participating within these mobile ecclesial groups will be a strong emphasis on communal creativity, rather than the individualistic focus of the do-it-YOURSELF, they will be focused on a do-it-OURSELVES mentality. In 25 years the church will not count on social services, setup within Christendom, to do its work for it any longer. The church will have to embody God’s mission, creativity, justice, non-violence and hospitality as a community of people committed to being disciples of Jesus.

Because these Christians will be less separated from the world it will be important to build communities and practices of resistance: people who read Scripture together to be reminded and shaped as people of “The Way” while learning how to survive in empire, who share their food, their belongings, and who reject the speed and consumption of hyper-capitalism. They will be non-conformist while living within and seeking to transform the world.

Finally, while this gathered diasporic people will focus on their particular local concerns they will also join with other “mission communities” for collective fronts on important and timely issues of their days. They will disband and regroup as needs arise. Thus even denominations will work more like social networks, cultivating disciples, artists, theologians, leaders and imaginations for survival in a world in need of the Gospel.

I will rise

2009-02-21T17:33:00.000-08:00

posted by Laurie...

I will rise everyday
And I will give my life away.
My better years are still to come,
Remember this when my life's done
That I will rise...
- Kate White from her Turning Pages CD)

On Monday night in a hundred year old Victorian house that's been turned into a recovery home in our neighborhood, my dear friend Kate performed a concert for 43 women gathered around on the chairs and floor. Kate sang, played her violin and tenderly shared her story. Over the course of the next couple of hours she connected with these women that she'd never met before in an incredibly deep way. My teammates Britany and Sophia and I were able to be there too and meet these women who were warm and receptive.

Kate sang and talked about her family, her own marriage and her children, things that all these women could relate to. At one point, she asked all the women to say out loud altogether the names of their children. It was so touching and heart-wrenching to hear moms call out from all over the room the names of their missed children. Kate really wanted to pray a blessing over their children so she asked for permission to pray for all of them. There was probably not a dry eye in the room.

Many pieces of Kate's life story intersected with theirs and although she didn't pretend to understand everything they've gone through, they really seemed to relate to her. We had been told we couldn't “proselytize” nor had we intended to, but as Kate shared her journey she sensed that many of the women desired to know God. So she shared how she had wrestled with trusting God and with the questions and pain she had experienced, but also how she had come to trust Him and give her life to Him.

After the concert, the women came up and hugged us and thanked us for coming. Some of them shared a little of their stories with us…. painful and sad stories. One woman asked Kate how she could know God too and if she needed a priest to be able to do that. So Kate told her she would pray with her and show her how. Some others next to her said they also wanted to know God and before we knew it, almost every woman in the house formed a circle, holding hands. I'll never forget that moment when Kate led them in prayer to receive Jesus as their Savior. They repeated after her, loud and clear "Lord Jesus! I've messed up! Come into my life..." Only God knows which women actually gave their lives to Jesus that night. Some of the women were already followers of Jesus and it was encouraging to see how they came up and began helping the others.

This week we’re going to take a copy of each of Kate's CD's to each of the women and we're listening to see how else God wants us to be involved with these dear women in our neighborhood. We may be able to walk with them, do crafts with them, or just hang out with them. They're in a very structured program so we're not sure how much we'll be allowed to be involved. When you think of it, please pray for these women, for those who gave their lives to God, to grow in Him, as they do the hard work of recovery from addiction. And as they miss their children and families.

full circle

2009-02-13T18:37:00.000-08:00

Back in the early eighties I was a commercial banker up in LA. I loaned money to middle market companies to help them grow their companies and accumulate wealth. I was pretty good at it too. But that was a long time ago.

A few weeks ago I made another loan. It was just a little $25 personal loan brokered by Kiva to a grocery shop owner in Indonesia to help her stock her shelves. It was a simple way to make a big difference in someone's life, and something I'd highly encourage everyone to consider doing (www.kiva.com).

Today I made another loan that required me to tap into the skills I had learned back in my banking days. This time, as an occasional volunteer with the micro-enterprises department of the International Rescue Committee, (the world's largest organization assisting refugees), I approved a $15,000 loan to an Afghan refugee to help him buy a Lincoln Town Car which he'll use to shuttle executives to and from the San Diego airport. It was a blast helping this guy get what he needs to carve out a better life for his family here in the US, and it actually required almost as much analysis as those $5 million loans I made back in LA.

I used to give money to the guys who rode in the back seats of those Lincoln Town Cars. Today I gave money to the guy driving the car. Sometimes life takes you full circle and you get to use the things you learned at one time in your life and apply them in a whole new way in an unexpected setting. And that feels good.

it's not really all about me

2009-01-27T09:54:00.001-08:00

I belong to an outfit (CRM/NieuCommunities) that develops people. We invite skeptics to consider; we encourage seekers to follow; and we coach followers to lead. We are called to help mentor people to be who they were created to be and to do what they were divinely designed to do. But there is an inherent risk in that pursuit. We can subtly and inadvertently begin to nurture a culture which unconsciously begins to act as if "it's all about me." We can even risk becoming a people who functionally behave as if our own well-being and personal development is paramount and the mission we have been invited into is collateral.

I often ask people if the things they are doing are "life-giving." The premise is that you've got to have a life to help give a life. The image that comes to mind is the flight attendant dutifully instructing parents that in case of emergency to put on their own oxygen masks first and then to put them on their children. Makes sense. You've got to be breathing to help anybody else get air.

Beyond just the pragmatics of prioritizing life-giving actions is a solid biblical foundation. Jesus himself said, "I came that you might have life and have it to the fullest." Scriptures seem to teach us that God wants us to be full of life. But scriptures also teach us that we will find life in ways we may not have counted on or hoped for. We find it in service. In simplicity. In sacrifice. In other-centeredness. Even in death. Jesus summed up this counter-cultural pathway to life when he said, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."

Somehow in Jesus' economy life is found by giving it away. We take in food, drink, love, and counsel in the expectation of immediately sharing it with others. We live as we live on mission.

And so as we develop people we are right to instruct them to put on their oxygen masks first. But to that counsel we need to add to do it expeditiously and with your eyes fixed on those gasping for air because this actually is an emergency.

only a true golfer will understand

2009-01-26T20:09:00.000-08:00

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.

It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt ... For a 10 on that hole.

Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

It's not a gimme if you're still away.

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard.

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

love your enemies

2009-01-09T13:19:00.000-08:00

Here's an awesome video story of a Palestinian guy who just ended up in our backyard and in a different kingdom.

principles for helpers

2009-01-02T17:43:00.000-08:00

A friend passed on this very helpful article by Bob Lupton to me. I thought I'd share it with my friends who want to really help the poor:

Principles for Helpers
Hippocrates (460 – 377 B.C.), the father of modern medicine, recognized the power of the healing profession to effect great good as well as its potential to do much harm. The oath that he instituted, a pledge taken by doctors to this day, established ethical standards for physician conduct which included: patient confidentiality, referral for specialized treatment, sharing of medical knowledge, and valuing prevention above cure. The Hippocratic Oath requires that physicians be personal and caring, put the interests of patients first in medical decisions, strive always to preserve life and never play God by taking life. And above all, do no harm.

For centuries the Hippocratic Oath has served well the medical profession and countless millions of patients. It has guided physicians toward astounding medical breakthroughs as well as constrained them from endangering patient welfare by risking questionable treatments. Perhaps a similar type of code would be useful to those who wish to serve the poor. We know that helping can certainly be for better or worse. Even as a misdiagnosed ailment will lead to improper (even harmful) treatment, so wrongly given assistance may well prolong or even worsen the plight of the needy. Good intentions and kindhearted spirits, while commendable, are insufficient guarantees of positive outcomes. Unexamined service that risks leaving the served worse off than if they had been left alone is irresponsible if not unethical. Guiding principles are needed.

The following is an attempt to articulate a few such fundamentals to guide would-be helpers toward effective care-giving. These guidelines are drawn from the collective wisdom and experience of veteran servants who have spent good portions of their lives living and serving among the less-fortunate in a variety of cultures. The list is hardly exhaustive, and each item requires far more unpacking than this writing permits. Just as the Hippocratic Oath has for centuries provoked vigorous and sometimes heated debate among physicians and has required repeated modification to remain contemporary, even so should these “Principles for Helpers” stimulate healthy discussion and adaptation appropriate for the particular setting.

1. Is the need crisis or chronic? — Triage may be the appropriate intervention in an emergency situation but it is hardly the strategy for a continuing need. The victims of a devastating tsunami need immediate medical, shelter, essential supplies and hoards of volunteers. Over time, however, survivors need expert consultation, a practical plan and a combination of grants and loans to help them rebuild their destroyed community. A similar distinction should be applied to those who utilize our food pantries and clothes closets as well as to those we serve on our mission trips. If their situation is a matter of life or death, then immediate action must be taken to “stop the bleeding”; otherwise a plan for helping them rebuilding their lives is more appropriate. Just as a physician, before prescribing treatment, performs a diagnostic “physical” to determine the severity of an ailment, so must helpers take the time to discriminate between imminent life-threatening situations and chronic poverty needs. (Note: what may seem at first like a crisis to helpers may in fact be a chronic reality for the poor).

2. Investing is better than lending — Making money with the poor is the ultimate method of sharing resources (including expertise, connections, energy). It empowers them economically and strengthens their hand through authentic partnerships. Investing implies an ownership stake. While a loan places the responsibility for repayment primarily upon the borrower, investing in a venture requires a higher level of involvement, more due diligence, more personal commitment, and perhaps greater risk. An investor has an expectation of higher potential returns than a lender. To invest well with those with limited access to capital, whether in a welfare mom’s dream of a catering business or in a well project with peasant villagers, good investment requires a sound business plan, reasoned risk/reward ratio, adequate controls and accountability. The investor has a stake in the sustainability and profitability of the venture.

3. Lending is better than giving — While giving may seem like the kind and Christian thing to do, it often ends up undermining the very relationship a helper is attempting to build. Any one who has served among the poor for any length of time will recognize the following progression:
* give once and you elicit appreciation;
* give twice and you create anticipation;
* give three times and you create expectation;
* give four times and it becomes entitlement;
* give five times and you establish dependency.

Lending, on the other hand, establishes a mutually beneficial relationship characterized by responsibility, accountability, and respect. It is legitimate exchange that requires the lender to be responsible for assessing the risk while leaving the dignity of the borrower intact. Lending, done well, builds mutual trust and respect.

4. Exchange is better than giving — One-way charity erodes human dignity. It subtly implies that the recipient has nothing of value the giver desires in return. No one wants to be pitied as a charity case. Thus, a thrift store affords more dignity than a free clothes closet, and a food coop more than a free food pantry. To the extent the poor are enabled to participate in (preferable have ownership in) the systems intended to serve them, to that extent their self-worth is enhanced. The fair exchange of labor for goods and services is an honorable and responsible practice (though admittedly not as easy as give-away programs).

5. Never do for others what they can do for themselves — The goal of helping is empowerment. Personal responsibility is essential for social, emotional and spiritual well being. To do for others what they have the capacity to do for themselves is to dis-empower them. Welfare, as many failed government programs have demonstrated, promotes dependency and a sense of entitlement. The outcome is no different when religious or charitable organizations provide it. The struggle for self-sufficiency is, like the butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon, an essential strength-building process that should not be short-circuited by “compassionate” intervention. The effective helper can be a cheerleader, an encourager, a coach, a connector, but never a caretaker who assumes responsibility that the “helpee” is capable of shouldering.

6. Sustainability is a litmus test — When our service project is over and we return home, are those we have served empowered to sustain what we have started? If these initiatives require our on-going funding, staffing, and volunteer participation to keep them going, they are more likely dependency-producing rather than empowering. Thus, building a home or digging a well for people who do not have the training and/or resources to maintain these assets does not empower them. It may feel very good for the moment and relieve an immediate need but it does not develop capacity. The defining question is: how can we serve so as to enable the poor to become self-sustaining?

7. Consider unintended consequences — Every change has consequences. Church growth may cause traffic congestion; screw-top wine bottles puts cork producers out of work; successful sheep breeding may lead to overgrazing. While we cannot foresee all the potential consequences of our service, we should at least make some attempt to predict their impact. Are we luring indigenous ministers away from their pastoral duties to become our tour-guides and schedule coordinators for our mission trips? Are we diminishing the entrepreneurial spirit in a culture by offering our free services, gifts and grants? Are we supporting irresponsible lifestyles by indiscriminate giving from our clothes closets and food pantries? Before we embark on a mission venture we should conduct an “impact study” to consider how our good deeds might have consequences we never intended. As Hippocrates admonished: above all do no harm

8. Listen to what is not being said — A good physician learns to listen to what his patient is not saying. Perhaps out of embarrassment or fear, a patient may not disclose important data needed to correctly treat a condition. The doctor must look for clues, piece together fragments of information, use his diagnostic tools and intuition to arrive at an accurate diagnosis. The poor we serve may be quite reluctant to reveal "the whole story” to would-be helpers for a host of reasons — fear of judgment, fear of losing support, not wanting to appear unappreciative, intimidation. It would be very difficult, for instance, for a pastor in a poor Guatemalan village to tell a supporting church in the States that it would be a far better use of their money to help him create jobs for the men in his village than to spend it on plane fare to send 30 unskilled volunteers to come and do construction work for them. Likewise, a single mother trying to clothe her children may be hesitant to tell the clothes closet volunteers that their hours of operation make it difficult for working parents to shop there. Like good physicians, effective helpers must learn to observe, ask questions, use their intuition, and hear what is not being said.

AN OATH FOR HELPERS
The effectiveness of our efforts to empower the poor could be significantly enhanced if, prior to launch, would-be helpers would take the following pledge:

1. I will never do for others what they have (or could have) the capacity to do for themselves.
2. I will limit my one-way giving to emergency situations and seek always to find ways and means for legitimate exchange.
3. I will seek ways empower the poor through hiring, lending and investing and use grants sparingly as incentives that reinforce achievements.
4. I will put the interests of the poor above my own (or organizational) self-interest even when it may be costly.
5. I will take time to listen and carefully assess both expressed and unspoken needs so that my actions will ultimately strengthen rather than weaken the hand of those I would serve.
6. Above all, to the best of my ability, I will do no harm.

wonder in memphis

2008-11-10T15:13:00.000-08:00

On the night Barack Obama was elected president and in the days that followed, I was down in Memphis, arguably the most racially divided city in the U.S. To this day a statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest, a lieutenant general in the Confederate Army during the Civil War and the first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan still stands prominently in Memphis' central park. And the city's population remains mostly divided by the freeway "loop" that neatly separates whites from blacks.

As we (most of CRM's senior leadership) met with African American pastors and community leaders during the week, their pride in what had just happened was palpable. But it wasn't loud. It wasn't even triumphant. It was closer to shock. It almost felt like the men and women we met with were lost in the wonder of the moment and were still wondering if it had really happened, or if it was all just a dream.

Just 40 years earlier Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated on a balcony just outside his room at the Lorraine Motel in downtown Memphis. The motel has been converted into the National Civil Rights Museum and it was something we wanted to experience. It was a bit surreal for us to be there just hours after the election, knowing that the President-Elect of our country could not have even sat with us or eaten with us just 40 years ago, let alone lead us. I would have expected the place to be party central on November 5th, but It was nearly empty. There were no celebrations at the motel or in the streets...at least not the streets we walked. King had talked about a day when an African American would become president of United States, but his forecast of a black president within 25 years had long since elapsed and for many his dreams had long since been tempered.

One African American leader told us, "You know, we've always told our children they could become anything they wanted to become in this country, but not the president. Today, for the first time, I can look my kids in the eye and honestly tell them they can become anything they want to become, and now I don't have to add 'but'."

To see the wonder in their faces and to hear the hope in their voices was enough for me to celebrate the choice our country made.

soul graffiti

2008-08-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

I'd heard great things about Mark Scandrette's book, Soul Graffiti, and I've been wanting to read it ever since we shared some tasty Thai food together last year. But I'd been feeling pretty OD-ed on books about new forms of church, so it took awhile to get to it. But I'm glad I finally got around to reading it because it's not so much about what the church should be as it is about the kind of people we can be as we intentionally put ourselves in the pathway of needs. Mark is one of those gifted people who naturally connects with people who don't share his beliefs and has a beautiful way of making the divine both understandable and compelling. I don't do that so naturally, but I'd like to, and a book like this sure helps. Here are just a handful of thoughts I highlighted from his book that might encourage you to go grab a copy of the book for yourself and give it a good read:

3: "No matter our aesthetics, there is something in the motivation of the graffiti artist that we can identify with, a guttural yelp to be heard and understood, to talk back to the universe or to God when we feel helpless, abandoned, or overwhelmed. It may be that impulse we feel to find our place of significance in the wider world, or to initiate conversation with our Make."

80: Some would say that atheists have the most courage--because of the terrorizing implication that life is without meaning or purpose"

128: "Dwelling is about connecting your words, symbols, and expressions with the ongoing conversation of meaning in your culture."

144: "We live in a fragmented world where we all yearn for wholeness."

161: "The message of Jesus is that shalom is now possible...there is a new way to be human."

172: "Who can we love a God we don't see? By loving the people we can see."

200: "Our culture allows us to claim belief without validating faith by actions."

214: "Jesus unapologetically invited people to abandon their pursuit of pleasure or wealth in order to seek the reign of love."

219: "Entering the kingdom of God is a lot like doing the Hokey Pokey on roller skates."

230: "The place to start is with your next step."

reggie mcneal keeps it simply profound

2008-06-17T16:17:00.000-07:00

Set aside 45 minutes sometime soon to hear a good 'ol boy call out the church to be what it's supposed to be.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7739099929211880163&hl=en

a break from drinking

2008-05-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

A friend and colleague of mine recently posted something on his blog I thought was worth passing on. Here it is with my comments immediately following:
......

I stopped drinking at the end of April. At least for a while.

Why?

1. I really felt God was asking me to. Beyond any particular reason or explanation, I’ve had this growing sense that I must.
2. I have sensed that God is wanting to do something significant - in me? through me? Perhaps this is a bit of physical fast to reinforce the spiritual - a time of preparation.
3. I don’t want to miss ANYTHING - good conversation with a friend, opportunity to hear or see God, etc.- because I’ve been drinking. Although I never drink all that much anyway, I’d hate for that to be the reason I miss something.
4. Sometimes I look at people who have been drinking (either too much or too often), and wonder, “Am I like that?” Again, don’t think so, but I’d hate for someone to get a wrong impression or be turned off by that
5. A fair amount of our community drinks, and I guess I want to lead the way in moderation in this area.

The thing is, drinking isn’t wrong. But it sure is easily abused. And because this isn’t a black and white issue, it gets a little complicated when it comes to “how much.”

- When exactly has someone had too much too drink?
- When is someone drinking too often?

I often don’t know when it comes to someone else. I’m concerned that too many of us can’t answer these questions for ourselves. Perhaps a bit of what God wants to teach me is self-control, discernment, and moderation. I don’t anticipate this is a permanent stop, and don’t actually have a plan to end. I guess I’m counting on God indicating it’s ok to drink again as strongly as He told me to stop.
................

Good for you. I suspect God is nudging us all the time to change directions, to take a new path, to try doing more of one thing and less of another, or even to just try letting go of something to see what happens in us and around us. But most of the time I think we kinda just give God a non-verbal, barely conscious, “Huh,” and then continue on unmoved and unchanged. At least I do. So good for you for listening and acting.

I agree with you that there’s nothing inherently wrong with drinking, but I’ve thought for quite awhile, (and folks in our communities are probably tired of hearing me say it), that our casual and often cavalier attitude about the use of alcohol seems to reveal a naiveté about the havoc it’s wreaking all around us and sometimes an insensitivity to those in our communities who are susceptible to hurting themselves with it. I hope we’ll be different. I hope we’ll be increasingly wise, sensitive, loving, and as you’re demonstrating, attentive to the nudgings of God.

trickle down mythology

2008-05-19T00:15:00.000-07:00

I’m a registered Republican, and I’ve actually voted for every Republican candidate from Ronald Reagan in 1980 right through Mike Huckabee’s improbable run in this year’s presidential primaries. My folks are die-hard Republicans, so I guess I kind of just fell into the party. But I’m also naturally optimistic and I tend to think that most people will do the right thing if given the chance, so the Republican idea of a “small government” that frees up resources for people to do the right thing, (vs. a big government that does it for them), made sense to me. I bought into Reagan’s “trickle down” economic philosophy way back in 1980, but unfortunately the altruism of that policy hasn’t really played out in the real world.

Forbes magazine, the self-proclaimed "Capitalist’s Tool,” recently reported that the average CEO in 1980 was paid 40 times more than their average employee, but that by 2008 the average CEO was now making 443 times more than their average employee, a staggering discrepancy. Revenue is not trickling down, it’s being consumed at the top, and at alarmingly skyrocketing rates.

There are obviously exceptions. I know a few honorable CEOs who have voluntarily chosen to cap their salaries, to live more simply, and to pay their employees real living wages that are just and equitable with their own compensation. But sadly, when given the economic opportunity to make more money and distribute it more equitably and justly, most CEOs just aren’t choosing to do the right thing. And now I’m asking myself what’s the right thing for me to do with a historic election just around the corner.

formed or informed

2008-05-03T13:47:00.000-07:00

For the first 2/3rds of my life I mostly read the scriptures informationally. The last third I've mostly read the scriptures formationally. Both are helpful, but they are different. The difference has to do with how we read the Bible and why we read it. Either we read the Bible informationally to learn, or we read it formationally to be changed. M. Robert Mulholland characterizes the different approaches like this:

In informaional (I) reading we...
In formational (f) reading we...

(I) Cover as much text as possible
(F) Cover what we need to

(I) Read line by line
(F) Read for depth, maybe only a phrase or two

(I) Have a goal of mastering the text
(F) Have a goal of being mastered by the text

(I) Treat the text as an object
(F) Treat ourselves as the object of the text

(I) Read analytically
(F) Read receptively

(I) Solve problems
(F) Are open to mystery

Mulholland obviously tilts the scale in favor of reading formationally, which I'd have to agree with. But I want to learn too, and I've got more than a few problems I wouldn't mind solving. So I'm not going to abandon reading informationally, but I suspect I'll probbaly keep spending most of my time in the Bible reading it to be formed.

moving movies

2008-01-15T13:01:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of a previous post about movies that take you to another place and time, (and deep into your heart), I saw 3 terrific movies on my return from Spain that really moved me and that I'd strongly recommend:

The December Boys will take you to the Australian coast and deep into what it truly means to be family.

The Kite Runner will take you to Afghanistan and deep into the ways that betrayal plays itself out in our lives.

The Girl in the Café will take you to London and Reykjavik (and deep into the G-8 summit on the Millennial Goals) and show how one courageous voice can make all the difference in the world.

I still find myself thinking about these movies days after seeing them and pondering what they mean for me.

good questions for '08

2007-12-27T11:28:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago I was sitting in Barnes & Noble skim reading a book over a cup of joe (I love reading $25 dollar books for the cost of a cup of coffee). It was a simple little leadership book called, QBQ!, (which stands for the Question Behind the Question), which was written by John Miller to encourage leaders, coaches, mentors, and anybody else who wants to live more productive lives to start asking ourselves and others the real questions we need to ask to eliminate blaming, complaining, and procrastination.

Miller asserts that:
“Why” questions (Why me? Why this? Why do they…?) often leads to powerlessness, victim-like thinking.
“Who” questions (Who did that? Who didn’t do that?) often leads to blaming and scapegoating.
“When” questions (When will that happen?) often leads to procrastination

His principles of good questions are simple, but really helpful. They’re built on the conviction that we are accountable for our thinking and for our behavior, and that we’re free to choose differently, to think differently, and to live differently. Here are Miller’s 3 characteristics of good questions:

1. They start with “what” or “how,” not “why,” “who,” or “when.”
2. They contain an “I,” not a “they,” “them,” or “you.”
3. They contain an action word like “do,” “contribute,” or “build.”

Here are some really helpful examples of bad questions (BQ) we often ask ourselves and others, and good questions (GQ) we should start asking:

(BQ) Why don’t they communicate better?
(GQ) How can I better understand you?

(BQ) When is somebody going to train me?
(GQ) What can I do to develop myself?

(BQ) Who dropped the ball?
(GQ) How can I contribute right now?

(BQ) Why don’t people follow through?
(GQ) How can I be a better coach?

(BQ) When are they going to get it?
(GQ) How can I communicate better?

(BQ) Why is he so self-absorbed?
(GQ) How can I be a better friend?

Those are simple, but profound questions that move us towards greater personal responsibility and personal accountability, and that’s a pretty healthy direction I'd like to move in.

the painted veil

2007-12-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

If you like movies that take you to another time and place, you'll love The Painted Veil. This one takes you deep into the interior of China circa 1925, and deep into the pain and struggle of adapting to culture and the healing of broken relationships. There are several scenes in the movie which are profoundly spiritual, the most explicit being a scene between the Mother Superior of an orphanage and Kitty Fane, a young British volunteer whose marriage is all but dead. In this really profound scene the Mother Superior vulnerably confesses:

“I fell in love when I was 17, with God. A foolish girl with romantic notions about the life of the religious. But my love was passionate. Over the years my feelings have changed. He’s disappointed me. Ignored me. We’ve settled into a relationship of peaceful indifference. The old husband and wife who sit side by side on the sofa, but rarely speak. He knows I will never leave him. This is my duty. But when love and duty are one, then grace is within you."

I don't want to settle for peaceful indifference. I want the deep grace within that comes when passion allies itself with faithfulness. I want it in my marriage, and I want it with my God.

prince of shalom

2007-12-12T08:53:00.000-08:00

We typically translate shalom as "peace," but "peace" just doesn't really get us there. Shalom has a far more profound meaning. It's not just the absence of conflict, war, or even anxiety. It's also the presence of a deep contentment and a satisfying wholeness. It's the prevailing presence of a radical harmony in our souls and in our worlds. John Ortberg says it like this:

• In a world where shalom prevailed, all marriages would be healthy and all children would be safe.
• Those who have too much would give to those who have too little.
• Israeli & Palestinian children would play together on the West Bank; their parents would build homes for one another.
• In offices and corporate boardrooms executives would secretly scheme to help their colleagues succeed; they would complement them behind their backs.
• Tabloids would be filled with accounts of courage and moral beauty. Talk shows would feature mothers and daughters who love each other deeply, wives who give birth to their husband's children, and men who secretly enjoy dressing as men.
• Disagreements would be settled with honesty, grace, and civility. There would still be lawyers, maybe, but they would have really useful jobs like delivering pizza, which would be non-fat and low in cholesterol.
• Doors would have no locks; cars would have no alarms.
• Schools would no longer need police presence or even hall monitors; students and teachers and janitors would honor and value one another's work. At recess, every kid would get picked for a team.
• Divorce courts and battered-women shelters would be turned into community centers, which would be staffed by professional ball players.
• Every time one human touched another, it would be to express encouragement, affection, and joy. No one would be lonely or afraid.
• And in the center of the entire community would be its magnificent architect and most glorious resident: the God whose presence fills each person with unceasing splendor and ever-increasing delight.

May the Prince of Shalom come this Christmas!

a new day

2007-11-26T09:00:00.001-08:00

A few days ago I was down in Laguna Beach, which is one of my favorite places in the world. Just north of Main Beach, up on the bluffs overlooking the Pacific, is where I often go to linger with God. It's where I go to pray. It’s where I go to worship. For me, it's a divine sanctuary.

On this November afternoon it was warm and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The setting sun was leaving a trail of light glistening on the water, and the gentle swells were lapping up on the white sand. To my left was a string of sea gulls sunbathing along the rail of a fence. Out in front of me, past the palm trees, pelicans were diving for dinner, and off to my right a sequence of rugged rocky points were pressing into the sunset. It was picture perfect

And then the thought struck me…this piece of perfection is actually broken! As good as this…and it was good…it’s actually supposed to be better! Every element I was taking in was once purer. Everything—the land and sea, the birds of the air and the trees clinging to the hillsides—once existed in truer harmony with one another. Everything in this picture had been tainted by the consequences of human behavior, and if I had ears to hear, I might actually hear what the scriptures describe as “all of creation groaning and crying out as if in childbirth” for the day when things will be made right again.

We may not see the brokenness of creation in a place like Laguna Beach on a beautiful fall afternoon. But we do see it when fires race through our neighborhoods; when a hurricane pummels the Gulf Coast; when a cyclone devastates the Bangladeshi coast; or when an earthquake buries a village in Central America.

Even more, we see the brokenness of creation in our own lives. We see it in the pain we feel way too often. We see it whenever we stumble and fall. We see it every time we fail to be the people we want to be…the people we know we should be. Why am I so much like Paul when he wrote, “I do the very things I don’t want to do, and I don’t to the things I want to do!” Because that’s what broken people do.

Unfortunately brokenness doesn’t stop at our own skin. We experience it our relationships, in the judicial system, in the world's economy, and in our work. We know deep down in our souls that this is not the way it’s supposed to be. Not the way it was made to be. And it’s not the way it’ll always be!

The scriptures tell us that there will be a day when “all things will be made new!” There will be a day when the pains of childbirth will end, and we’ll live in a new and unbroken world. When all of creation will be back in sync with itself. A time when we’ll be fully at home in our uncompromised bodies, and we’ll live at peace in untainted relationships. There will be a time when life will be lived as it was meant to be lived.

Let these words breathed by the Spirit of God in Revelation 21:1-7 wash over you as we enter the holiday season:

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the old heaven and the old earth had disappeared. And the sea was also gone. And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband."

"I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

"And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children."

listening at the speed of a walk

2007-11-20T14:02:00.000-08:00

In our lives, which are all too often lived at a frenetic pace, there are times when we simply need to slow down and listen at the speed of a walk. Because if we don’t, if we continually move through life pushing the posted speed limits whenever possible, we’ll often miss the important things all around us that God wants us to see. And so there are times in my life when I put away the car keys and I go for a walk. I like to call it intentional wandering, because I go with a purpose—I go to listen, and I go to respond to what I see. I want to tell you about two walks I recently took, walks in two very different neighborhoods that are worlds apart, and yet share something in common.

On a warm Tuesday afternoon in September, Luc and I took a walk through the black township of Soshanguve in South Africa. It was great to be with Luc again, (Luc is the guy I mentored in Pretoria and who I helped buy a bride for six cows), and it was great to be back in Africa exploring another neighborhood where we are hoping to birth a new ministry. We had two objectives for our walk: 1) to get a feel for the neighborhood, and 2) to drop in at the mosque that had recently sprung up in the township and meet the imam.

First, it might be helpful to know that white people don’t walk through black townships in South Africa, and so as Luc and I walked, people unabashedly pointed at me and talked openly about the lekua (white person) on their street; quite likely the first white person they had ever seen on their street. As we walked, we prayed, eyes open, out loud, just Luc and I talking with God and each other about the things we were seeing. Sometimes we stopped to chat with people, but mostly we just prayed for these potential new neighbors of ours.

Two things really stood out to us as we walked and prayed: one was the sense of community the people in Block KK experienced in the midst of their poverty. Groups of children were everywhere…playing in schoolyards and kicking balls on the dirt roads. Teenagers were hanging out on street corners. Women clustered on porches to cook dinner together, and groups of men sat in tight circles on rickety chairs outside their corrugated tin shacks. They didn’t have much, but they had each other. I couldn’t help contrast that with our culture, which has so much stuff, and yet is so often alone and lacking the intangible asset of community.

The other thing we noticed was the need to create beauty even when you’re struggling to survive. Most of the shacks and block houses we walked past were painted…albeit in multiple colors as paint could be secured. Most yards were dirt, but the dirt was neatly racked. And even in those dirt yards there was almost always a prominently displayed flower or bush that had obviously been planted with pride and nurtured as if it were priceless. It struck both Luc and me how precious the simple things in life can become to us when we’re not feeding our insatiable appetites for more.

The last stop on our walk was the new mosque, where we wanted to meet the imam and introduce ourselves as fellow spiritual leaders who also want to be men of peace in this neighborhood. This neighborly, even diplomatic visit on our part turned out to be a bit more complicated than we had imagined.

Before we were able to meet the young imam, we had to get past the “grounds keeper,” a surly South African man about my age who saw himself as more of a bodyguard than a grounds keeper. He was deeply suspicious of our motives, and didn’t hesitate to let us know it. He did not want us anywhere near the mosque, and he had no intention of allowing us to meet the imam. Within a few minutes we were surrounded by several men from the mosque who continued to question us and challenge our intentions.

Eventually, the imam came out to the courtyard to see what was happening. He was a small, almost fragile looking young man who had recently come down from Somalia to lead this Islamic community. Without a word spoken between us, Luc and I decided that the best way for us to actually get to know the imam was for me to stay engaged with the bodyguard and the other men so that Luc could get off to the side and talk with him unimpeded. So that’s what we did.

Standing there in the courtyard with these Muslim men, I found myself experiencing their hostility—a kind of hostility I’d never felt before. As they outlined the perceived atrocities and injustices committed by our country throughout the world, I could actually feel their pain and their anger. This wasn’t a theoretical, philosophical discussion about politics and world events that most of us are accustomed to. This was personal. These men had actually suffered most of their lives, and in their eyes, I was complicit in the wrongs they had suffered. It didn’t feel fair, but fair wasn’t the point.

Even more disturbing to me was how they felt about my God and my faith, a faith that for them is epitomized by televangelists and prosperity gospel teachers who visit their township 24/7 via satellite TV. Do you know these men Robert? Are these your friends Robert? Why do people clap for them? Why do they accept applause as if they are God? Why do they wear fancy clothes and drive fancy cars? How can you believe in this Robert? As Luc was building a relational bridge with the young Somali imam, I was trying my best to explain to the South African men surrounding me that the Jesus they see represented on satellite TV is not the Jesus I see in scriptures, and that the churches most of us go to are nothing like the churches that meet in those studios and stadiums. This was an eye-to-eye, toe-to-toe moment of truth. I could see in their eyes and hear in their voices that they were struggling to believe that there actually could be a different kind of Christian faith in the world today than the one portrayed on the big screen, and that if there was such a thing, was I accurately representing what this different kind of Christian might be like?

I wish I could say they embraced what I shared and had a spiritual “aha” moment. They didn’t. But I do think I left them wondering about all they’ve seen and been told about Jesus and his followers. I think I left them wondering if there was another story out there that needed to be considered. And at a minimum, I hope they experienced a different kind of Christian…one they didn’t need to be angry at or fear.

As Luc and I walked back to the car, he said, “I’m sure glad nothing bad happened with those guys, especially on this day.” “What do you mean, on this day?” I asked. “Well, today is 9/11. Didn’t you know?” No, I actually didn’t. And I’m kind of glad I didn’t. I can just imagine what they must have thought when they saw this big white guy walking into their mosque on 9/11!

We would have never experienced what we did on this September 11th if we hadn’t carved out a couple of hours to listen at the speed of a walk. We met people who were kind and inviting, and people who were hurt and angry. We experienced some community assets and some liabilities that we may have missed if we were just driving by. I’d encourage you to give it a try in your neighborhood. Take some time to intentionally wander through your neighborhood with God and see what he wants to show you. You may be surprised.

A couple of months after that walk, I walked through another neighborhood on the other side of the world, a neighborhood just an hour or so away from our home. It’s a neighborhood we’re hoping to birth another new ministry team in. In a future post, I’ll tell you about that neighborhood and what we’re hearing as we listen at the speed of a walk.

casper the friendly atheist

2007-06-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

I just read a fun and provocative little book that has stimulated some good thinking and some verbal sparring among some friends of mine. The book was written by Jim Henderson, a follower of Jesus, and Matt Casper, an atheist. It’s called Jim and Casper Go To Church. (Yep, that’s the actual title…makes you want to read it, doesn’t it?) It’s the whimsical and sometimes disconcerting story of their visits to a dozen different churches sprinkled across the states, particularly focusing on the observations and insights Jim was able to elicit from Matt Casper, the friendly atheist.

It didn’t take Matt long to wonder if there was some kind of script that churches are supposed to follow, because even though they experienced some stylistic differences in churches, almost all of them seemed to do essentially the same things. While they were taking in all the Sunday morning happenings and having a groundhog day experience, the question kept resurfacing, Did Jesus tell you guys to do all this?

That’s a great question. Over time, we add layers and layers to our programs and services. New ideas get added on to our traditional operating systems and our churches start to feel like the religious equivalent of Microsoft code. We do lots of stuff and add lots of bells and whistles to our events because we think people will like it.

And then a guy like Matt comes along who simply asks, Is this what Jesus told you guys to do? And then, with a biblical literacy that defies his own beliefs, he wonders why we gather so often in big comfortable spaces and put lots of money and energy into self-gratifying services instead of just keeping things simple, rolling up our sleeves and living out Jesus' love where it’s needed most, which is probably not in these buildings.

Good stuff. If you’re interested in hearing about their little journey, check out their book, Jim and Casper Go To Church. But here’s the question some friends of mine have been sparring over, and I’d like to invite you into the skirmish:

Should we even care what an atheist thinks of our church?

After all, atheists are not our audience, right? Church is for believers, right? I mean, it's great that non-believers occasionally drop in to visit, but the church doesn't exist for them. Hmm. Is that true? Well, then who are we doing this for? Who are we really putting on all these services for anyway?

I’d love to hear your take on that question(s).

I’ll give you my take in the form of a metaphor. Let’s say you were going to invite some friends over to have dinner with your family. Would you care what they thought? Would you consider what might make it a more enjoyable evening for them? Of course you would. It would be strangely awkward to invite people to your place if you didn’t even care about what they thought. Now, would you cook something your family didn’t enjoy just to satisfy your guests? Would you ask your family to become something other than who they really are so the guests are satisfied? I hope not. You’d probably prepare something you think your whole family and your guests would enjoy. And you’d hope your family was comfortably genuine, engaged, and engaging, (okay, and maybe a bit more polite than usual).

So, is that dinner for your family, or for your guests? Both, isn’t it? It was true to your family. It nourished their appetites, and it invited their real, genuine presence. And it was thoughtful. It also considered the needs of those who were invited to join you.

Now, that doesn’t mean you won’t have lots of "just family" meals. You need to do that, and if you get some drop-in guests, well, they may have to flex a bit to fit in.

But any time we open our doors to guests, when we invite our neighbors to join us in our community gatherings, we are by definition entering into an act of hospitality. And the exercise of hospitality--caring about all who are in the room--is a very Jesus-like thing to do.

What’s your thought?

most christians aren't

2007-01-15T11:48:00.000-08:00

I always find it curious when people instantly find confidence in other people because they've identified themselves as "Christian." You know what I mean, like when you hear someone say, "I feel really good about my accountant because she's a Christian." Or, "I'm so excited because my son got a Christian teacher at his public school." Heck, I even find myself doing that.

But a recent survey conducted by the Barna Research Group found that only 9% of people who identified themselves as "Christian" actually held a Christian worldview. In other words, only 9% of "Christians" actually think biblically. 91% of "Christians" don't even think like Christ. So are they even Christian? And is having a Christian worldview really even sufficient to be considered a genuine Christian?

In the 1st century A.D. people who followed Jesus were known as people of The Way. In other words, you knew who they were not because of how they labeled themselves, but because of the way they lived their lives. Today it seems like way too many of us can admire and worship Jesus without doing what he did. We can applaud the things he taught and the things he cared about without actually following his teachings or caring about those same things. I wonder how many of that 9% who have a Christian worldview actually live out what they say they believe.

It turns out Christian isn't much of an adjective anymore, and maybe not even much of a noun either. Maybe we should look for a new word--or perhaps an old word--to describe those who think and live like Jesus. The word Jesus used was disciple, which means follower, or student. It was a word commonly used in the trades of his day, a trade world characterized by an apprenticeship form of education in which an apprentice (disciple) gained knowledge and competence by emulating the practices of a master. Apprentices were discipled by their masters, and they became like their masters.

Maybe it's time Barna and his group stoped asking who is Christian, and started asking who is living out the revolutionary love of Jesus. Only then will we find out what percentage of our population is truly Christian.

drafting

2006-11-29T17:14:00.000-08:00

While reading 1st and 2nd Thessalonians, I was reminded again of how much those letters from Paul, Timothy, and Silas drip with affection, nurture, longing, satisfaction, tenderness, thankfulness, endurance, and perseverance. These letters richly illustrate what can happen when a small group of people decide they will openly and intentionally share their lives in the hope of becoming an authentic, transforming, spiritual community. I pray that the words and imagery of these letters will increasingly be true in the experience of our communities as Christ is formed in us.

But the real kicker for me in these letters is in the idea of the power of example. The community of faith in Thessalonika had become exemplary and renowned in the region because they had, among other things, imitated Jesus and the lives of Paul, Silas, and Timothy. The writers were confident enough in the integrity of their lives to challenge the church to just go ahead and imitate them. Whoa. Would I do that? Would I feel confident enough in the way I do life to simply ask others to follow my example?

If you've ever watched the Tour de France or NASCAR, (I hear some folks from the south actually enjoy watching a good 'ol car race), you're familiar with the power of drafting--—getting right up behind the person in front of you and getting sucked into their momentum. You stay right on their tail, benefiting from their wind-breaking lead, right up until the moment you catapult past them having drawn on the energy they had exerted while being in front.

It seems to me like imitating is a lot like drafting. You get right up next to someone and follow their lead. You stay right in their tracks until you're ready to surge ahead. And when you're ready to go for it, you do it knowing that you're far better off than if they had never been there.

I've been asking myself this question a lot recently: If someone were drafting me, if someone was imitating my life, what would they be like?

There are several follow-up questions that immediately jump into my mind as well. Questions like:
What would they be doing?
Would they be seizing the day or blowing it?
Would they see kindness and tenderness or sarcasm and impatience?
Would they be self-centered or other-centered?
Would they hunger more for Jesus or ESPN?

When we invite someone to journey with us in one of our communities, (our intentional communities are called NieuCommunities), we're inviting them into the pursuit of Jesus. We're inviting them to be imitators of Christ. But we can never forget that implicit in that invitation is the invitation to draft us...to follow our lead. And if those who have entrusted themselves to us are to become exemplary individuals, we must lead them well by living exemplary lives.

So I'll leave you with this question to consider in your own heart and in your own community:

If someone were drafting your life, what would they be like?

sabbath reading

2006-10-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

This summer, after returning from Africa, I had the opportunity to exhale and take a little extra time to read, study, and reflect. The following books are the ones I found to be most helpful, stimulating and encouraging.

Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen. This is Nouwen’s most recent book, and it was actually written posthumously by two of his former students/apprentices based largely on Nouwen’s university teaching notes on the subject. It’s an outstanding book and it shows us how to live in sync with God and how to find wisdom for our long walks of faith. And hey, getting Nouwen as a personal mentor ain’t bad either!

Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense by N.T. Wright is simply a masterpiece! It’s not a simple read, but it cuts to the core of what it truly means to be Christian and why the deepest longings of our heart make so much sense. It felt to me something like a postmodern version of C.S Lewis' classic, Mere Christianity. My blog post below, “echoes of africa,” borrows heavily on Wright’s thinking, so read that post to get a feel for where Wright will take you in this brilliant look at the very nature of God and his followers.

The Shaping of Things to Come by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch, is a provocative look at emerging culture and a stimulating exploration of the kind of church it will take to reach the postmodern world. Their understanding of what it means to be church is radically different than what most followers of Christ have come to experience as church. I love what they write, and I’ve had a taste of a new kind of church through our involvement in NieuCommunities. But I suspect their way of being church will still, for at least a few more years, be primarily attractive to counter-cultural people rather than popular culture. But if you have a bent to challenge the status quo and connect with people who just don’t “get church” as they see it lived out in their neighborhoods, Frost and Hirsh will get you thinking!

Mere Discipleship by Lee Camp is a full-on challenge to those of us who call ourselves Christians to cease playing at faith and to become radical followers of Christ. He challenges the softness that often characterizes our faith and our churches. He offers a different kind of discipleship, a different kind of following God that involves sacrifice, risk, and asking our world and ourselves the uncomfortable questions. Throughout the book I found myself wondering, “Just how much have I unknowingly become culturally captive? How much of my faith is more middle-class conservative America than it is Christ-like?” Don’t read this book if you’re looking for confirmation of what you already practice. But if you’re ready to take a hard look at the way you follow God in light of Scripture, Camp will take you on a profound ride.

Leaving Church, by Barbara Brown Taylor. This book was recommended to me by a good friend who has left the church, but not God. In fact, his relationship with God is as rich now as it has ever been. Taylor is an Episcopal priest, and this is her personal story about breaking free of the religious machinery of the priesthood in hopes of finding a fresh and freeing faith. This is a warm, thought-provoking, sometimes sad, but very well written book. I wouldn’t want to give up as much as she has to enjoy a life-giving faith, but after 20 years of voactional ministry, there are certainly parts of her journey I resonate with.

On the lighter side, I had a blast reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. This historical fiction follows the lives of a handful of historians who are searching for the tomb of Vlad III, the 15th century Romanian prince who fought against the Ottoman Empire. He was also called Vlad the Impaler, and his life is the stuff of the legend of Dracula. This is a fascinating tale that takes you on an investigative journey through Amsterdam, France, Istanbul, Hungary, Romania, and Bulgaria. Fascinating stuff…especially if you’ve already visited many of these places or have always wanted to!

echoes of africa

2006-10-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

I have friends who tell me that God has told them—presumably in an audible voice—to do certain things or to not do certain things. I don’t know about you, but God has never actually spoken to me like that. I sometimes wish he would, but unless I’ve just missed it, he has chosen not to. What I hear—and I hear it more with my soul than with my ears—sounds more like the echo of a voice than it does the voice itself. It’s the echo of a voice that sometimes sounds near and sometimes far more distant, but it’s real and it compels me to move in the direction I sense it coming from.

To live in South Africa this past year was a remarkable gift for us in many, many ways. But the greatest gift of all was being in a place, and having the time and space, to listen for that voice and to feel it bouncing off the walls around us. I don’t want to imply that our experience in Africa was picture perfect, because it wasn’t. In fact it was sometimes grueling, occasionally dangerous, and it revealed things in us that weren’t always pleasant to see. But there was something about the rhythm and fullness of life there, something about our interactions with the world around us and the people near to us that was actually telling us something about God. If what we were experiencing was perhaps the echo of the voice of God, what was the voice calling us to? What is the voice telling us about what we are all created for?

In Africa we heard the echo of a voice that calls us to beauty. The beauty of an African sunset, or the graceful strides of a cheetah in the wild are breathtaking. God created us to enjoy beauty. To preserve and protect it. To invite others into it, and even to help create it for others to experience. Beauty doesn’t have to be extravagant. In fact, it's usually the simple and natural beauties that we enjoy most. In Africa we experienced a piece of God’s Eden, and in it we heard the echoes of a voice calling us to create beauty for others wherever we go.

We also heard the echo of a voice that calls us to live in deep relationships. We were made for each other…to enjoy each other…to challenge each other…to make each other better. Our experience of community wasn’t always pretty, and at times we were even disillusioned. But we learned to fight for community. We learned how to fight fair and what is worth fighting for. We experienced a taste of doing life together that was more holistic than anything we had previously experienced, and even though it was often hard, it was so worth it.

In Africa, where countless cultures have thrived and faded throughout the ages, spirituality takes on many diverse and nuanced forms. But in just the sheer volume of religious expressions we heard the echo of a voice calling us to spirituality. It’s in our blood as humans. We were made to be spiritual. Whether it is sought out in the designer religions springing up throughout the west, or in the ancient rites of the people of Africa, we are all created to be connected with the Divine Presence. And so we worked hard in South Africa to create a place where people could linger long with God and have the opportunity to get soaked in his presence just as they were meant to be.

But there is another echo we heard in Africa, the echo of a voice that has been far too faint in my life, far too distant. It’s the echo of a voice that is calling us to justice. It doesn’t take long in a place like Africa to see and feel painful injustices that have gone on far too long. My eyes were opened to see just how far out of joint and brutalizing our world really is. My eyes were also opened to truths in the Scriptures that I had missed before. I found myself immersed in the gospels this past year, and for the first time I was reading the words of Jesus not just as the words of the One who gives life, but as the words of a subversive, provocative revolutionary who was set on overturning the unjust status quo of the 1st century world. And in his story I realized just how domesticated my faith had become.

You don’t have to go to Africa to see gross injustices. Sure, they’re more conspicuous there than they probably are where you or I live. But there are certainly injustices all around us. We simply need to hear the echo of the voice that calls us to act on behalf of the marginalized, the poor, the weak, and the defenseless just as Jesus did and just as he calls us to.

Beauty. Relationships. Spirituality. Justice. Those are words that are true about our God and worth pursuing with all we’ve got, whether we live in Africa or Anaheim.

marriage...what is it good for?

2006-05-24T12:10:00.000-07:00

Most people I’ve met want to get married. Maybe not right away, but eventually. But why get married? What purpose does marriage serve? That’s a question most people haven’t thought much about.

For those who have considered the question, the most common responses seem to be things like “for companionship” or “to have children and start a family.” But people make lifelong friends and lots of babies all the time without marriage, so it seems like there must be more to it than that.

From a spiritual perspective, I’ve heard that marriage is like a picture of the divine union God wants to have with us. In that sense we actually get a glimpse into what it’s like to be in relationship with God through our relationship with our spouse. I think that’s true, but it doesn’t really help me much when things aren’t going so well and my marriage feels like anything but divine.

I’ve landed on another purpose for marriage that is a little easier for me to grasp, a purpose that lines up more naturally with what I’ve actually experienced, and challenges me to make the most of my marriage. For me, marriage is the ideal context, the perfect crucible, to shape my character and to make me more like Jesus. The purpose of marriage is to make me a better person. Not just a happier person, but also a holier person.

It’s in the crucible of marriage that my pettiness, my impatience, my self-centeredness, and all my other ugly weaknesses are completely exposed. Katherine Anne Porter wrote, “[Marriage] is the merciless revealer, the great white searchlight turned on the darkest places of human nature.”

There’s no cover-up scheme imaginable that will hold up under the raw reality of marriage. In every other relationship, I am way more capable of measuring out my downsides in palatable doses. And if I can’t hide, well, I’ve always got the option of simply easing out of the relationship to lower the heat.

But not in marriage. In marriage, we either linger under the bright lights of our inadequacies, (and blame our spouse), or we change. I think we’re supposed to change. We’re supposed to become more like Christ. And when that’s happening, when we’re becoming more like Jesus, then maybe our spouses do get a little taste of heaven.

This past year Laurie and I and the couples pictured on this post--Sean and Deb Fraser, Bryan and Daleen Ward, and Arthur and Melissa Stewart--spent several months reading through John Gottman’s outstanding book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. It was a powerful experience for all of us. I recommend it highly if you’re ready to roll up your sleeves and work at making your marriage the kind of marriage you always dreamed it would be.

Last weekend, Laurie and I took a short flight up to Zambia to spend our 25th wedding anniversary at a place the local people call mosi-au-tunya, "the smoke that thunders." The English speaking world still calls it Victoria Falls, the name given to it by the explorer David Livingstone, and it truly is one of the Seven Wonders of the World. We expected it to be beautiful, and it was. But it is more than beautiful; it is awe-inspiring...almost scary. From miles away in any direction you can see the smoke (mist) rising up above the African bush and hear the daunting thunder. And then, when you approach the falls from the ridge that juts out directly in front of the river, you literally step out of a blazing African sun into a torrential rainfall that makes you want to reach out and grab something to steady yourself. The smoke that thunders. I now know why Livingstone found it the most spectacular site he ever stumbled upon in Africa.

finding family

2006-04-26T02:13:00.000-07:00

Just down the road from us is a locked-down K-12 boarding school, called Tutela. It’s not a boarding school for privileged kids who don’t fit into their parent’s lifestyles. It’s a school for kids whose parents aren’t fit to raise them. It’s a place of refuge for kids who have been neglected, abused, or abandoned. Tutela is a kind of home for hundreds of kids who have never really experienced anything that resembles a true home.

I’ve often described NieuCommunities as a place where we gather young leaders around us to show them how to create home—spiritual home—for those who can’t seem to find it in all the normal places. If we fail to do that, then we have failed to meet one of the primal needs of humanity. And so, as I travel from site to site, I look for signs…signs that our communities of faith and training have also become spiritual homes; places of refuge and hope; places to encounter God and to dream again. Last Sunday night I saw one of those signs.

As she sometimes does, last Sunday afternoon Laurie drove over to Tutela to pick-up a van load of teenage girls and bring them to our weekly BBQ and time of spiritual reflection. To be honest, bringing these girls to our gathering is not as easy as it sounds. First, you have to become trusted enough by the administration of the school to take them off the secured campus. And second, most of these kids struggle to even know how to behave out in the “normal” world. Like a lot of young people I meet today—whether privileged or abandoned, black or white, American or South African—they have trouble experiencing the very thing they long for…home.But Laurie is awesome with these girls.

She is tender and nurturing. She walks them around the property and through our home to help them feel more comfortable in this new and strange environment. She brings them into the kitchen with her to help prepare the community dinner that they will join. She introduces them to all our staff and to all our guests, and she gently walks them through the evening’s experience.

As our weekly gathering was coming to a close, one of the girls voiced these words in an attempt to summarize what she was experiencing; “Everybody here feels like family.” It was a simple statement, but it was one of those signs of effectiveness I look for. In those few words Meloney both betrayed her heart’s deep desire and signaled that we had created what we had hoped for

May each of us, and all our communities of faith, become the kind of families in which people will experience a deep and satisfying sense of being at home and being at peace.

buying a bride

2006-03-07T03:58:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time in America it was customary for young men seeking a bride to pay a dowry to her family. The idea was to give something back to the family for all they had invested in the woman they are about to give away. Somewhere along the way we discarded that tradition, which is too bad for a guy with two beautiful daughters!

Well, in South Africa, the dowry is called a “lobola,” and the tradition is still very much part of the fabric of the African culture, which creates a sometimes insurmountable obstacle for young men like my Congolese friend and teammate, Luc Kabongo, who has fallen in love with a wonderful South African woman named Petunia. This past Saturday I was part of a 6-person team (pictured at left) who traveled 250 kilometers south of Pretoria to meet Petunia’s family in a small mining township and negotiate a lobola on Luc’s behalf.

When we arrived at their small rural home, Luc was not allowed to enter the gate of the house. That’s part of the tradition. He and Petunia had to wait outside until the negotiations were completed. Our “team” was unique in at least 3 ways. First, we had 3 women on our team. These negotiations are traditionally done only by the men of the family, and women are not even allowed in the room. Second, we had 2 Americans on the team—myself and Arthur, another NieuCommunities
teammate. And third, being a refugee from the Congo and separated from his family, Luc’s team was comprised of his spiritual family, not his biological family. Several times I was referred to as the “papa” on the team, in a sense standing in the place of Luc’s father. Their team was comprised of 6 men, somehow all related to Petunia, and most hoping to get something out of this deal (pictured at right).

Now, I’ve been a part of lots of negotiations in my lifetime, but never anything like this. First of all, we were negotiating for a person. And second, we were negotiating in the currency of cows. Yes, cows! Our team’s hope was to “buy” Petunia for 5 cows. Now, nobody really expects to receive cows anymore. At one time in the culture the payment really was made in cows, but now it is made in Rand, the South Africa currency, with 1 cow equaling 1,000 Rand (about $165).

Anyway, back to the negotiations. When we entered the room, Petunia’s family asked us to state our intentions. We said that Luc had found a beautiful flower in Petunia, and that we had come to pick the flower, to pay them for the flower, and to bring the flower home to Luc. They welcomed us into their home, they thanked us for coming, and then promptly asked us for 20 cows! We were all a bit stunned, but quickly relieved when one of Petunia’s uncle’s corrected the mistake and adjusted the request to 12 cows. They explained that 2 cows were for Petunia’s “head,” and that those were not negotiable. I’m still not sure I fully understand what it means to buy her “head,” but the primary meaning has to do with purchasing the right to bury her with your family. If you don’t buy her head, then she would be buried with her birth family when she dies. After presenting their demand, they left the room so that we could discuss their request and respond.

When they returned, we assured them that 12 cows was certainly a very fair price for Petunia, and that she was surely worth much more than that. But we humbly told them that all we had was 6 cows, and that we would be willing to give them all we had. We told them that we just didn’t feel we could promise to give them more than we actually had. We were sincere, and honest, and they accepted the offer. We also agreed to give a gift to each member of the family who played a significant role in raising Petunia. They will then give us a list of the gifts they each would like to have, which typically are things likes dresses, or suits, or blankets.

After the lobola was negotiated, Luc was brought into the house and introduced to the family. That was the very first time he and her family actually met…only after the price was fixed and the transaction was agreed upon was he allowed into the house and introduced to the family.

Luc and the negotiating team will return to the village in November with the requested gifts and to get his bride. They will slaughter a sheep, there will be a feast, and the lobola payment will be made. In African eyes, that day, and that transaction signifies marriage, and Petunia will be given to Luc. One month later there will be a wedding ceremony back in Pretoria, and for Luc and Petunia, on that day, they will be married in both African eyes and in God’s eyes.

from our hood to yours

2005-12-25T08:15:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! Or as they say here, "Happy Christmas!"

Christmas was different this year. We played Marco Polo in the pool under balmy African skies. We barbecued fish instead of cooking turkey. We spent it with our missions team instead of our extended family. And we went to Burgers Park (Pretoria's central park) to attend a Christmas program and to help serve food and pass out gifts to the poor and homeless. It wasn't your typical Christmas program or our typical Christmas experience.

The program was what you might call "low budget." The singing was somewhat strained as people from multiple cultures were trying to understand what was going on, let alone understanding the words of the songs. The dramas were simple, sometimes corny, and the acting was marginal. The food and gift distribution was somewhat chaotic, but at least everyone got a hot meal and every kid under 12 got 1 gift. But you know what? There was joy. And there was dancing.

Strained. Simple. Chaotic. It's certainly not what we're used to. But as I sat in the park among a few hundred poor and homeless people, I wondered if we were experiencing a Christmas more like the Christmas Joseph and Mary experienced than the kind of Christmas we ever could attending a well-choreographed performance held in a climate-controlled and omfortable sanctuary. I'm not sure anyone really knew how the day would unfold out there under the clouds and trees in the park. But in the end, everyone got a gift. And that's Christmas.

May Christ touch your heart this Christmas.

this ain't kansas anymore

2005-12-10T07:34:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago Jonathan—our 18-year old—needed to go downtown to catch an all night bus ride out to the coast to work at a youth camp for inner city kids. Jonathan hadn’t driven in the city center yet, and he wanted the practice. (Driving in South Africa is not like driving back home. You drive on the opposite side of the road, the driver sits on the right side of the car, and you have to learn to shift with your left hand instead of your right. All that takes a little getting used to, not to mention learning to drive in a dense urban environment).

Anyway, driving into the inner city of Pretoria at night also has its own unique challenges…the central one being to avoid getting car-jacked. As we were wandering around downtown trying to find the drop off spot, I found myself coaching Jonathan how to drive downtown at night. Just little things, like easing off the accelerator long before you come to a red light so that you never actually come to a stop; rolling through stop signs if you see guys standing anywhere near the intersection; and not getting too close to the car in front of you to avoid getting wedged between 2 cars.
As I got back into the car after Jonathan jumped on the bus, it struck me how interesting it was that our whole conversation about driving in the inner city at night was so nonchalant. It was just so natural, so matter-of-fact. Neither of us thought it was odd or even troubling to be talking about car-jacking and how to reduce the risk. I guess there are some things you just get used to in a place like this…things you adjust to and learn to live with.

But there are other things I don’t know if I will ever get used to…or even if I should get used to them. Last week I was reading an article in the local newspaper about the epidemic levels of rape and abuse in the city. In 1 downtown middle school, 52 girls reported to have been either sexually abused or raped at sometime in their lives. 52 girls in just 1 school! What is going on?! How do you explain that?

Well, there are sociological reasons that attempt to explain it. For example, it is commonly believed in many parts of Africa that having sex with a virgin will cure AIDS, and the younger the girl, the more likely that she will be a virgin. That’s one huge factor. Pervasive substance abuse is another major contributor to abuse.

But I suspect the deeper reason has something to do with the bankruptcy of people’s souls—something old time theologians would have called “depravity.” I find myself wondering if there is some correlation between being deprived and becoming depraved. I wonder if people actually forget what it means to be truly human—human in the sense in which God intended—if they have been treated as less than human for so long. I suspect that when people have been deprived of love for a long time, they actually forget how to love, and then they end up acting with unimaginable cruelty. Maybe that’s what depravity is really all about—forgetting how to love, and maybe that’s really not so odd. Maybe what’s really odd is when we expect people to act so well when they have been loved so poorly.

I’m not sure if there is anything we can do down here that would be more powerful, more transformational, than just loving people well. Loving them selflessly. When Jonathan spends 10 days hanging with inner city kids at camp, he is loving people well. When Laurie sits and talks with teenage girls at a local “place of safety,” a boarding school for kids who have been removed from their parents, she is showing them how to love. When Brittney goes out to a nearby township to spend time with some teenage girls there, something no other white girls that we know of would do, she is showing courageous love.

I’m really proud of my family. They are making their lives count down here in a place that is very different from anything we’ve ever experienced. I’m also proud of Melissa, our 20-year old who is back in San Diego in her 3rd year of college. She is a psychology student, and each week she volunteers at a local elementary school to counsel kids who have been removed from their classrooms because of emotional and behavioral problems. Melissa is also doing her part to change our world…one act of love at a time.

May we learn how to love—really love—and may it become contagious.

living right side up

2005-10-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

Most of the people I know have a pretty well-honed sense of what it takes to fit in. If they’re younger, they know what it takes to be cool. If they’re a little older, they know what it takes to be considered successful. Within the social circles we traffic, we know how to be polite. If we go to church, we know what it takes to be proper.

So what is the right way to live in a country that was built on 350 years of black servitude? What’s the proper thing to do when you are living among white neighbors who grew up under a regime that both created and religiously enforced the systematic separation of blacks and whites under a body of laws collectively know as Apartheid? ("Apartheid" is an Afrikaans word meaning “separation,” which defined the legal and social relationship between blacks and whites from 1948-1990).

For us the right thing to do is to live right side up in an upside down world. The right thing to do is to do the very thing most people won’t do.

One of our favorite times of the week down here is Sunday afternoon. Each week we host a very culturally appropriate braai, (a South Africa BBQ), on our stoop and we invite all the folks we have befriended to join us. What makes it really fun though is that we draw a very culturally inappropriate crowd! There are poor blacks from the nearby township, upper middle class white students from the university, black children of domestic workers, white businessmen, Christian pastors and ancestor worshippers all sitting side-by-side.

Many of the people who come have never experienced an upside down gathering like this before, and you can bet our
neighbors haven’t ever seen a group like this gathered in their neighborhood! It’s just not the “right” thing to do.

But we just happen to think it gives our revolutionary God a great big smile. It gives us one too, so we’ll keep doing it. And in time we’ll see who else wants to live right side up in an upside down world.

orienteering in the bush

2005-10-02T03:14:00.000-07:00

Each year we take our missional community in South Africa out into the bush for an adventure in orienteering. We break them into teams, we give each team a compass and a set of coordinates to follow, and then we turn them loose to hunt for a series of markers and (hopefully) the spot where we will rendezvous for lunch. We haven't lost anybody yet out in the bush, but yeah, we definitely get lost! But that's part of the fun. And part of the learning.

The orienteering experience launches us into a 3-week learning focus we call LifeCompass. Building on the orienteering experience, we guide the community through an intensive self-discovery process in which we each create a new kind of map, a new kind of compass, and a destination worth giving our lives for.

The map is the story of our lives to this point. It's a personal timeline we each create in order to gain a better understanding of where we've come from and how God has been at work in us all along. It also reveals what may lie ahead. As we unpack our life journeys we gain a clearer sense of who we are, what we value, and what we have to offer. These learnings become our compass...a compass that keeps us on track and keeps us from drifting off in directions we were never meant to go. It keeps us focused on the destination we have been created to pursue.

This past week we wrapped up our LifeCompass focus and we listened to each person in the community share their take-aways. It was an awesome and powerful experience. It was even more special this time around as Laurie, Brittney, and especially Jonathan (that's him in the photo) were able to join us throughout much of the process.

In another 6 weeks the participants who have joined us for this leg in their journey will be heading off in different directions. Some will be coming back to South Africa. One will be heading to Venezuela. Another to Dallas. A few will be traveling to Canada to explore a potential next step. But all will be leaving with a clearer sense of who they are and the destination they have been created for.

into africa

2005-09-10T06:13:00.000-07:00

It feels so good to be here! From the first day I began to architect NieuCommunities and help get it launched, I've wanted to live among the young leaders who are getting to experience what we designed. I've made lots and lots of trips to our sites over the past 4 years and I've had a taste of the adventure, but there's just no substitute for being here day in and day out.

We've been having a blast settling into our little house on the Pangani property that also serves as the NieuCommunities Hub in South Africa. The team here had already done so much to fix up the house to have it ready for us...all we really needed to do was unpack our bags, move a few things around, and stock up the fridge and cupboards.

These first two weeks in Africa have been rich. First we were reunited with Jonathan who had already been here for over a month. I "guess" he was glad to see us...but he was sure having a lot of fun before we got here too and he was lovin' his independence! Then we were warmly welcomed by the whole community with a braai (South African BBQ) and a game of cricket...our first ever. (But take note of Laurie's natural swing).

We've been having a blast getting to know the whole NieuCommunities gang down here and having them all over for dinner at the clip of about one person every other night. We've loved hearing their stories and seeing what God has been doing in their lives. In just these first 2 weeks we have...
- participated in several rich times of worship and prayer with the community
- facilitated several training workshops
- attended a volleyball tournament to support one of our participants and the team he is playing with
- attended a very lively 3-hour church service in the black township of Soshanguve
- helped host a braai for our neighbors and another braai for a church group from the township of Soweto
- coached several staff and participants as they work on developing their "Life Compasses"
- planted grass in front of our house
- figured out where all the stores are
- eaten lots of good food
- enjoyed the company of an awesome group of young leaders!

I will use this blog page to capture our experiences this year and keep you up to date. So come back weekly and watch how the journey unfolds.

Email us and let us know how you are doing too. You can use the email function right from this web site. Just click on the little envelope icon at then end of this, or any article, and it'll take you right to an email screen. Looking forward to hearing from you!

on my nightstand

2005-07-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

"The Story We Find Ourselves In," by Brian McLaren. I finally got around to reading this second book in Brian McLaren's narrative trilogy, and was fascinated and inspired by it. The book should come with this warning though: "If you are content with the theology you're used to hearing in most Christian churches, well, fasten your seat belt." From beginning to end, in very compelling story-telling fashion, McLaren will make you think again about the belief systems you've grown up with. If you haven't read the first book in the trilogy, "A New Kind of Christian," I recommend you start with that one. And if you're still with him after that, give this one a shot. You may not like it all, or agree with it all, (I didn't), but it will certainly cause you to stop and ponder what it really means to be a follower of Christ and a player in the story. If you'd like a little lighter, shorter, and less controversial look at the "story we find ourselves in," pick up John Eldridge's "Epic." I loved it. It covers similar ground, it is written to inspire, and it succeeds!

"The Disappearing Girl," by Dr. Lisa Machoian. If you have teenage girls, this book ought to be required reading! It will take you inside the world of teenage girls, inside their hearts, and inside their minds to give you a first-person glimpse of the challenges girls face every day growing up in this culture. Don't let the subtitle; "Learning the Language of Teenage Depression" scare you off. Your daughter may or may not be depressed. Machoian, who taught psychology at Harvard, unpacks the battles all girls face in our society, battles that will most likely result in some kind of depression if not won. She writes with a lot of hope and gives us parents great suggestions to help our girls navigate through those tough years. My girls are 15 and 19. I just wish I had read this book years ago.

"The History of South Africa," by Leonard Thompson. This sociological history written by Yale historian Thompson is one of the finest books ever written on the formation and evolution of the country we now call South Africa. For those of you who have read James Michener's outstanding historical novel, "The Covenant," but weren't sure how acurate it was, you'll be pleased to know that Michener did his homework. Thompson's scholalry work backs Michener's story telling throughout, and offers a solid and readable historical perspective for anyone visiting, living, or just interested in South Africa.

spirituality? really?

2005-05-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

A recent UCLA national survey of more than 112,000 freshman entering 236 universities and colleges revealed some hard to reconcile findings. For example, 80% of the freshman surveyed claimed to have an interest in spirituality, but only 47% thought it was important to seek out opportunities to grow spiritually. 79% said they believed in God, but just 40% thought it was important to follow religious teaching in everyday life.

Huh? Is that really what it means to be spiritual? Is it enough to have thoughts about faith without any consequential response? Are these the responses of a truly spiritually minded generation? I don’t know. On one hand, I’m inclined to think the study more accurately portrays a large group of people who like the idea of being spiritual far more than they like the idea of actually pursuing spirituality. On the other hand, 47% and 40% respectively still represents a whole lot of people who seem to know that it takes personal engagement, and not just sentiment, to become truly spiritual. That’s encouraging.

I do believe this generation is more spiritually sensitive than mine. But it's not enough to be just sensitive. Sensitivity may help us become more tolerant, and perhaps even more curious. But true spirituality demands personal engagement...it demands a long obedience in the same direction. It costs us something. But it is oh so worth it.

words that freeze

2004-12-15T08:25:00.000-08:00

I’ve begun to notice a bit of a trend as I interact with young leaders longing to live an unconventional Christian faith. It seems that some of the youngest and brightest are immobilized; unable or unwilling to move towards their dreams of creating new communities of faith. What’s derailing so many? The usual suspects are an intense desire to be "unique" and a ruthless commitment to be "organic".

What’s wrong with that?! Those sure sound like qualities worth fighting for. How can those desires leave visionaries sitting on the sidelines or on a barstool? Well, here’s my take:

When our dreams are driven by a desire to be unique, to be unlike anything else out there, we inevitably wake up to Solomon’s sobering words, “There is nothing new under the sun.” Dreams that are driven by a passion to be unique seem to lose their mystique the moment we discover that someone else is already doing something a lot, (or even a little), like what we wanted to do. And without the distinction of being wholly unique, dreams formed around that center are often abandoned before they are ever lived.

Now, most of us want to be unique at some level, and when we boldly exercise creativity we are reflecting the image of our Creator God. It’s inspiring to engage in the creative process, and I’d be the first to admit it feels good when people say things like, “NieuCommunities is so unique; it’s not like anything else I’ve ever seen; you guys are really thinking outside the lines.” That’s nice to hear, but the truth is we didn’t set out on this faith journey to be unique; we did it to be faithful. We began NieuCommunities because we believed God was calling us to do a very old thing once again. We were under orders. It didn’t have to be unique. It didn’t even have to be creative. But it did have to be attempted. And at the end of the day, faithfulness is what God requires of us, not uniqueness.

The other culprit I often see derailing dreamers is the commitment to be organic. Why would that trip people up? Isn’t being organic a good thing? You bet it is. The problem comes when being organic is unnecessarily juxtaposed against being intentional. It is falsely assumed that to be organic means you can’t be intentional. You can’t have design. You can’t have structure or systems. You can’t plan or set goals. You can only be spontaneous and just kind of ooze. That’s what is assumed to be natural and organic and therefore godly.

But one only needs to look at nature or their own bodies to see that there is nothing inherently contradictory between intelligent design and being fully organic. Life is made up of intricate, interactive, and completely natural systems. The challenge is not to abandon intentionality, but to be intentionally organic. To partner with God in ways that are consistent with the natural rhythms of life. In NieuCommunities we have intentionally designed our year to follow what we believe is the natural, organic rhythm leaders experience when attempting to live as “sent ones.” It’s a way to move forward intentiaonlly and organically. It’s certainly not the only way.

I had dinner the other night with a fascinating guy who was full of dreams. He has also been on the sidelines far too long, paralyzed by the need to be different (unique) and organic. I love the fact he wants to do something really radical. But his dreams—and ours—will remain nothing but dreams unless we faithfully and intentionally go for it…even if it’s been done before.

healing grace

2004-11-22T07:06:00.000-08:00

I am reminded way too often that we, as a culture, are “thanks-challenged.” Instead of seeing the things all around us to be thankful for, we tend to notice all the things we wish were different. All the things we want. And all those “wants” and all those “wishes” can all too easily spiral into a black hole of greed. Greed always wants more. It's never enough. Acts of love and kindness don't seem to stick. What you do is never good enough. The greedy are never satisfied.

But thankfulness is like a wellspring. It gives life instead of demanding more out of life. Thankfulness contributes rather than criticizes. A child-like sense of unexpectedness pushes away that insatiable sense of entitlement. Thankfulness births generosity in our hearts, and generosity is like a healing balm rubbed onto every life it touches. A thankful, grateful heart is a whole heart.

To nurture healing grace in my own life, I want to take a few minutes to give thanks and to invite you to be thankful with me. And I hope, as you read these words, that thankfulness and generosity spring up in your heart and that it pours out on those all around you!

I’m thankful for…

> a wife who loves everyone around her
> three kids who are sometimes sprinting, and sometimes stumbling, but faithfully moving towards God
> family and friends whose incredible generosity allows us to stay on mission
> friends who give more than they take
> teammates who stand shoulder-to-shoulder with me
> the integrity in the lives of those who lead me
> the wholeness I see forming in the lives of those I lead
> the lessons I’ve learned in my failures
> neighbors who have opened their doors and their hearts
> an inviting B&B in Pretoria and the cozy 4-floor downtown apartment building in Glasgow to base our life-on-life ministry
> the expanding influence God is giving us
> books which open my mind and heart and take me to new places
> sports…especially those I can still play!
> music that lifts my spirit
> an intimate, loving, ever-present God
> the incarnation
> the courage I see in others
> acts of sacrifice
> hope
> you

How about you? What are you thankful for? Write it out. Say it out loud. Tell someone. Share the grace.

church as potluck

2004-09-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be cool if all those who follow God in the way of Jesus viewed the church as a potluck rather than as a restaurant? At a potluck, everybody brings something to the table, and you never know which meals will carry the day. It's up for grabs...literally! Want a better potluck? Bring something better to the table. Want a tastier experience? Raise your own creative contribution bar. Got nothing to bring tonight? That's O.K. There will be plenty of people who've got you covered this week. Just try to bring something next week. A potluck is a collective experience and everybody gets a chance to enrich everybody else.

When the church operates metaphorically as a restaurant, it's a completely different social contract. People come not as contributors to the group experience, but as consumers of religious goods and services. We come and order our meal, and we expect it to be prepared really well and brought to us in a timely and attractive manner. If we like the service and the meal, we come back. Maybe we even leave a tithe...ahh...a tip. If we're not satisfied with the service or the meal, we might give it another shot or two, but we eventually just take our business elsewhere. I know that sounds kinda harsh, but isn't that pretty much what most of us do? And, to be fair, if a church sets itself up as a restaurant, shouldn't it expect that kind of behavior, however unfortunate, from its customers?

I wonder if the church as a restaurant perspective hasn't inadvertently fueled another curious metaphor. When dissatisfied people leave a church, it's often because they say they "weren't fed." (Now I'm guessing that 9 times out of 10 what we really mean when we say "I wasn't fed" is closer to "I wasn't satisfied"). But anyway, the "I wasn't fed" metaphor actually makes some sense if the social construct of the church resembles a restaurant and the staff don't bring anything to the table. But that metaphor would never fly in the church as a potluck for at least 3 reasons: 1) There are all kinds of foods all around you...something is surely edible; 2) It's your responsibility to grab something and eat it...nobody will feed you; and 3) Presumably you brought something to the table, so at least there's that much to eat.

Now, I've been to tasty potlucks and to pretty lame potlucks, (too many of the later, actually), so changing the social construct of the church is not enough. At the end of the day it comes down to each one of us choosing whether or not we will bring our best. When we do, everybody eats well. When we don't, well, it's our fault, nobody else's. But wouldn't it be so cool if our response to a weak potluck was a personal and family resolve to bring something better to the table the next time around? To bing something that we put our hearts into? Somehow that seems more like what Jesus had in mind for us rather just heading out to a restaurant to pay someone to feed us.

For a very stimulating take on a potluck-like church, check out Doug Pagitt's book, "Reimagining Spiritual Formation."

authentically dangerous

2004-09-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

Hi, I’m Rob, and I’m a Boomer. At least that’s the camp my birth certificate squarely puts me in. I don’t actually think or live a whole lot like most boomers, but I certainly “get” them. We’re performance-oriented. Often pretentious. Even narcissistic. Of course, we’d prefer to think that we’re just hard working and committed to doing whatever we can to make this world a better place to live.

We’ve been labeled the “me” generation because we’ve pillaged the world to indulge ourselves with material pleasures. O.K., guilty as charged.

But there seems to be a new indulgence in our emerging culture that may be just as destructive as any material indulgence of my generation. It’s a verbal indulgence that seems to spring out of our new blue chip value - authenticity.

Now, I’m a huge fan of authenticity, especially given the alternative—pretentiousness. We encourage those we are leading to live out a raw spirituality. By that we mean a humble, Spirit-yielded, unrehearsed life. Unfortunately, “unrehearsed” all too often gets interpreted as “unbridled,” and life suddenly gets real painful for everybody else!

If authenticity becomes a license to verbalize whatever is in our hearts, then we may be perilously close to using authenticity as a facade for a new kind of self-indulgence. A verbal indulgence. In real life, it’s not always O.K. to say something just because I feel like it. It’s not all about me. In fact, it’s about others.

Being authentically honest means I’m honest with my brokenness. Authenticity is almost always confessional, not accusatory. It means I confess that at times I’m a loaded weapon…I’m wounded and I can be dangerous. But being authentic doesn’t mean I always have to take the safety off and pull the trigger. And it never means I should shoot with the intent to harm. If authenticity requires us to pull the trigger and discharge whatever is in our hearts, then I’d choose hypocrisy!

I value authenticity. But I value love even more.

(See chapter 4 in McManus’ “Uprising” for more on authenticity and integrity)

on my nightstand

2004-07-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Several friends have recently asked me what I’ve been reading. Well, besides the "Da Vinci Code," (see my last posting), here’s some of the best stuff I’ve read in the last few months:

"Blue Like Jazz," by Don Miller. Miller is thought provoking and hilarious all at the same time. He writes about faith, doubt, and a postmodern’s struggle to find a real Christianity that really fits. He’s a wonderful storyteller whose insights are often profound and sometimes troubling.

"The Five Dysfunctions of Team," by Patrick Lencioni. This terrific little book is one of the best books I’ve ever read on teambuilding. It’s written as a marketplace allegory, but it’s application goes way beyond the marketplace. Lencioni takes a handful of fairly simple leadership concepts and skillfully organizes them into a powerful paradigm. This is very helpful stuff for anybody building any kind of team.

"Everybody's Normal Till You Get To Know Them," by John Ortberg. This is an outstanding book on relationships. Ortberg passes along a bunch of really helpful insights for all of us who still have some jagged edges left in our personalities and are doing our best to have community with other jagged edged people.

"Uprising: A Revolution of the Soul," and "An Unstoppable Force: Daring to Become the Chruch God Had in Mind," both by Erwin McManus, are excellent reads. If your heart is restless for something deeper, and if you long to become the kind of person whose life is full and infectious, then consider giving "Uprising" a serious look. And if you want to have your understanding of the Church challenged and stretched, then check out "An Unstoppable Force" and pray hard about helping to shape something special. I think McManus is one of the best thinkers/practitioners around.

Enjoy, but don’t expect any of these books to put you to sleep!

the da vinci code

2004-07-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

With all the buzz surrounding The Da Vinci Code, (not to mention the fact it’s been the #1 bestseller forever), I finally borrowed a copy of the book and gave it a shot. I knew the book had messed with a lot of people’s faith, and I wanted to see what everyone was talking about it.

I’ll tell you what, I couldn’t put it down. If you like conspiratorial, sleuth-type books, then you’ll find it a really fun read. Without giving away too much, The Da Vinci Code is a story about uncovering the “truth” about Christ, the history of the Christian church, and the Holy Grail.

I was fascinated by Brown’s analysis of historical symbolism and religious icons. Oliver Stone couldn’t have woven together so many disconnected and disputed tidbits into a more stimulating story! I was even fascinated by the way he so smoothly turned history completely upside down by presenting the early Christians as a powerful business and political juggernaut whom Emperor Constantine had to appease in order to hang onto his empire, rather than as the small fringe minority that they were who had to meet in caves and homes in order to avoid persecution by the Roman Empire. I wasn’t sure if Brown actually believed what he was writing, or if he just needed to rewrite history for the sake of his story. Either way, he sure can spin a great story.

If you’re one of those people who read the book and found yourself asking, "Is this really true?", or, if you’d just like a better understanding of what early Christianity was really like and how the Bible was really put together, then check out some of the articles posted at http://www.christianitytoday.com/history/special/davincicode.html. I thought the "Breaking The Da Vinci Code" article was particularly insightful and helpful.

You know, to be honest, as I was reading The Da Vinci Code, I found myself asking God to give me an appetite to consume his Word that was way bigger than the appetite I had to finish the fictional story I found myself going to sleep to. That’s not a bad prayer...for me, or for anyone wishing to live well in the real word.

conflict and community

2004-07-07T10:19:00.000-07:00

Somewhere along the way, probably in a college literature class, (if you stayed awake long enough!), you learned about the essential elements of story. It seems every great story has the same four elements: setting, conflict, climax, and resolution. And for some reason, our hearts and minds respond to this same formula over and over again.

Your story, my story, every story takes place somewhere. In a house, in a neighborhood, in an office, or in a family, and the setting usually includes other people. Which is probably why the second element—conflict—is ever present. Something breaks. Someone breaks someone else. Loneliness, pride, tension, anger, fighting, self-absorption abound. It’s inevitable. If you want to write a novel that sells, you’ve got to have conflict.

Our hearts identify with conflict and they long for resolution. We want things made right. We want to live in peace with each other and in peace with our own souls. But sitting right there between conflict and resolution is the fourth element that all good stories have, and it’s the element that trips us up the most.

Climax is that point of decision that determines the end of the story. It’s the moment of time when our hearts must choose, and the choices we make result in a good or bad resolution. Climax is our response to conflict and our pathway to resolution.

Why is the Bible such a great story? Because it offers humanity a staggering resolution to the pervasive conflict we are tangled in, and because it places us in the same place as all those who have gone before us—at the climactic moment—when our choices determine how our story ends.

The story of NieuCommunities is still being written. But the elements of a great story are already present. We are now into our third year and we have already seen every member of every NieuCommunities group so far experience the four elements of story.

Each community starts in a setting usually rich with adventure, hope, and idealism. But it doesn’t take long before conflict seeps in and begins to rule the day. The little nuances we overlooked in the beginning now drive us nuts. We’re surprised when our “honesty” actually wounds or offends people. We’re frustrated when people don’t “get us.” We’re taken aback when people don’t actually want to hear everything on our minds. And we flat out become weary of trying to keep up the protective barriers we’ve spent a lifetime honing to perfection.

But sooner or later every one of us must choose what we will do with the conflict all around us. Will I settle for the status quo? Will I just tolerate people and ride it out? Will I withdraw? Or will I lean in and embrace? Will I love? Will I choose to be there for others in the climactic moment of their story?

The resolution of each life and each community hinges on these weighty decisions. And while we can certainly influence the outcome of each story, we simply can’t script it. It’s up to every player in every cast to determine the resolution of their story.

For now, I can only say that I am really proud of the choices our sojourners have made. They have fought well and loved hard. And the resolutions to the stories we have seen have been sweet in almost every case.

And if there is anything we have learned so far as we write this NieuCommunities story, it’s that community with one another is only sustainable when it flows out of individual communion with God. None of us really has the ability to do life together or love each other well unless we are each doing life with God and experiencing his tender love for us. At the end of the day, it’s God’s overflowing love for us that will spill over and splash onto those around us. When we are overwhelmed with his gracious, embracing love for us, we are able to move beyond the conflicts we experience and press through to sweet resolution.

Thank you for being such a significant part of this story and for sharing in this journey. Would you continue to pray that God’s love would abound in our communities and that the choices of our hearts would be the choices God would be delighted with? Thanks!!!